If you drive south on Interstate 95, you will cross over Lake Hartwell in Georgia. In Hartwell, Georgia, a man has put a sign in the front of his little church that reads, “The tired, the poor, the huddled masses. Welcome Home.”
Published: Thursday, August 17th, 2023 @ 3:08 pm
By: Lib Campbell
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Satan was reportedly pleased this past weekend after an adorable little baby unintentionally served his dark will by distracting people in the pew behind him at a local church and preventing them from hearing the sermon.
Published: Sunday, August 13th, 2023 @ 11:48 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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In a display of liturgical fashion innovation, the Anglican Church has officially unveiled tuck-friendly vestments to accommodate priests who dress up as priestesses.
Published: Sunday, August 13th, 2023 @ 8:36 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Three churchgoers sued the city after they were arrested in September, 2020.
Published: Wednesday, August 9th, 2023 @ 10:32 am
By: Daily Wire
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An archbishop in the Church of England said the opening of the “Lord’s Prayer” is considered “problematic” to some people because the 2,000-year-old prayer starts by addressing God as “Our Father.”
Published: Tuesday, July 25th, 2023 @ 6:16 pm
By: Daily Wire
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The Almighty God finally had enough and had to break some difficult news to a local churchgoer today, as He sent word to a woman that she was no longer allowed to bring her tambourine to church.
Published: Tuesday, July 18th, 2023 @ 6:50 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Tim Keller has finished the race set before him.
Published: Friday, June 16th, 2023 @ 12:09 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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When it comes to immigration, President Joe Biden should take some advice from the Roman Catholic Church. In short, the Church does not support open borders and offers reasonable guidelines for how a wealthy country should handle foreigners seeking to cross the border — legally or not.
Published: Friday, June 16th, 2023 @ 11:57 am
By: Daily Wire
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After many heated debates over matters of theology, doctrine, and church carpet color, Lutherans have all finally agreed to split and form his or her own individual synod.
Published: Thursday, June 15th, 2023 @ 1:04 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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George Carey, a retired bishop who previously led the Church of England, exhorted British Parliament this week to consider expanding access to assisted suicide.
Published: Wednesday, June 14th, 2023 @ 7:24 pm
By: Daily Wire
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North Point Community Church Pastor Andy Stanley has announced a brand new sermon series in which he will forgo his usual preaching style and instead just beat up a Bible with a steel chair.
Published: Sunday, June 11th, 2023 @ 12:17 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Local father Stephen Taylor has become concerned that going to church could really intrude on his eleven-year-old's travel baseball schedule.
Published: Sunday, June 11th, 2023 @ 7:00 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Tim Keller, a prominent Christian author and the longtime pastor of Redeemer Presbyterian Church in New York City, passed away on Friday morning at the age of 72 after a battle with cancer.
Published: Monday, June 5th, 2023 @ 10:25 am
By: Daily Wire
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Local man Steve Rollins juked and spun his way past church greeters during a visit to First Baptist Church today, stunning church staff with his world-class elusiveness.
Published: Wednesday, May 31st, 2023 @ 5:26 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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In a historic announcement, the Catholic Church has officially granted sainthood to Bandit Heeler, father of the titular character on the popular animated program Bluey. Bandit is both the first dog as well as the first animated fictional character to be granted sainthood.
Published: Monday, May 29th, 2023 @ 12:41 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Membership in the Southern Baptist Convention witnessed the largest single-year decline in at least a century as the nation reels from the aftermath of lockdown mandates and pastors become concerned about the denomination’s theologically liberal drift.
Published: Friday, May 19th, 2023 @ 8:08 am
By: Daily Wire
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As part of his remarks while visiting the White House on his first day in the United States, Pope Francis made a strong plea on behalf of religious liberty, which he specifically directed at President Obama.
Published: Sunday, May 14th, 2023 @ 4:30 pm
By: John Locke Foundation
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A Catholic Church in New York City is facing some backlash — from its own parishioners — over a display titled “God is Trans: A Queer Spiritual Journey.”
Published: Sunday, May 14th, 2023 @ 3:56 am
By: Daily Wire
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U.S. House of Representative Jim Jordan said Monday at least one undercover FBI employee sought to monitor parishioners in Catholic houses of worship to combat domestic terrorism using tripwire and sources.
Published: Wednesday, May 10th, 2023 @ 7:10 pm
By: Daily Wire
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In a final attempt to rein in their worship leader, Knoxville's Church on the Rock has instituted a pitch clock for all of the miniature sermons he tries to work in between songs.
Published: Wednesday, May 10th, 2023 @ 6:59 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Law enforcement officials in Colorado have arrested a transgender individual with a communist manifesto for allegedly planning mass shootings at schools and churches in the area.
Published: Tuesday, May 2nd, 2023 @ 2:30 pm
By: Daily Wire
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As the Glennon family walked into church for Easter service today, they were caught off guard by how different the church looked without Christmas decorations.
Published: Thursday, April 20th, 2023 @ 3:08 am
By: Babylon Bee
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The vandal graffitied and smashed rocks into the church.
Published: Saturday, April 15th, 2023 @ 11:09 am
By: Daily Wire
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Ministers, seminaries, and denominational entities across the nation poured out prayers for Covenant Presbyterian Church and its senior minister, Chad Scruggs, after he lost his nine-year-old daughter in the Monday shooting at The Covenant School in Nashville, Tennessee.
Published: Saturday, April 15th, 2023 @ 6:43 am
By: Daily Wire
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The leadership of a newly planted church was unable to come up with a suitable name and will instead be forced to settle for being named "13,487th Baptist Church."
Published: Tuesday, April 11th, 2023 @ 8:03 am
By: Babylon Bee
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A local couple faced a difficult challenge this week after deciding to find a new church, with the goal of finding a smaller church but one that is still large enough that no one there will notice if the couple isn't in attendance.
Published: Tuesday, April 11th, 2023 @ 7:45 am
By: Babylon Bee
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It's one of the hardest parts of running a church: trying to find a qualified youth pastor. Who wants the job, anyway, when it probably doesn't pay and doesn't even count as being a real pastor?
Published: Sunday, March 26th, 2023 @ 2:19 am
By: Babylon Bee
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After banning the Russian Orthodox Church in the country, Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky is now reportedly banning the Ukrainian Orthodox Church, which has approximately 10,000 parishes throughout the nation.
Published: Thursday, March 23rd, 2023 @ 8:37 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Pope Francis stated in a new interview that the Catholic Church in the West could theoretically consider lifting its ban on priests marrying, calling the tradition of celibacy for priests a “temporal” discipline rather than an eternal dictate.
Published: Monday, March 20th, 2023 @ 6:46 pm
By: Daily Wire
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Nate Silver, the numbers wizard and former New York Times staffer, is about as liberal as they come. And even HE thinks the COVID lockdowns were crazy (well, he does now; better late than never).
Published: Saturday, March 18th, 2023 @ 9:40 am
By: Daily Wire
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A local Baptist church was forced to cancel its normal observation of the Lord's Supper last week after it was discovered that the grape juice used for communion had fermented.
Published: Monday, March 13th, 2023 @ 10:35 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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By Jeff Larson, The Back Pew
Published: Saturday, March 11th, 2023 @ 8:18 am
By: Countrygirl1411
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Local child Stephen Reese became deeply worried during church this morning after hearing there is a bomb located somewhere in Gilead.
Published: Friday, March 10th, 2023 @ 8:19 am
By: Babylon Bee
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According to church elders, member Dylan Behrens absolutely nailed the pitch pipe solo while performing song leader duties Sunday. The veteran song leader approached the pulpit with his Sacred Selections hymn book in hand and then proceeded to shred the pitch pipe for 5 seconds.
Published: Thursday, March 9th, 2023 @ 1:23 am
By: Babylon Bee
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