In response to the growing outcry over tens of thousands of migrants illegally flooding into the United States, President Joe Biden deployed federal agents to the southern border to help block journalists' cameras.
Published: Sunday, April 7th, 2024 @ 7:56 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Former presidential candidate and First Lady Hillary Clinton was seen at a local Bass Pro Shops strolling up and down the aisles looking to buy from the store's selection of sniper rifles.
Published: Sunday, April 7th, 2024 @ 9:30 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Disney executives announced an upcoming installment in the popular Star Wars franchise that will feature a female Jedi who mysteriously turns to the Dark Side at the same time every month.
Published: Thursday, April 4th, 2024 @ 6:32 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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The White House explained today that President Biden's horrific sunburn occurred due to him spreading mayonnaise on his face instead of his ham sandwich, a snafu that could happen to anyone of any cognitive ability.
Published: Tuesday, April 2nd, 2024 @ 11:22 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Many people are familiar with Dante's famous "9 Circles of Hell," where different categories of pitiful souls spend eternity in horrific torment for their sins.
Published: Saturday, March 30th, 2024 @ 8:04 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Liberals have voiced a collective warning following the ouster of Harvard President Claudine Gay, stating the removal could lead to a world where people are actually held responsible for their own poor choices.
Published: Saturday, March 30th, 2024 @ 4:59 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Conservative news outlet Daily Wire has been dipping its toes into the entertainment industry as of late, with all-original films such as Lady Ballers, What Is A Woman?, and the upcoming Snow White and the Evil Queen.
Published: Saturday, March 30th, 2024 @ 4:38 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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After the release of unredacted documents related to the Jeffrey Epstein case was suddenly delayed this week, authorities confirmed the unexpected holdup was designed to give Bill Clinton extra time to flee the country.
Published: Friday, March 29th, 2024 @ 10:38 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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In a chilling revelation, a tearful Claudine Gay has disclosed that a gang of time-traveling white supremacists went back to the year 1997 and forced her to plagiarize at gunpoint.
Published: Friday, March 29th, 2024 @ 1:54 pm
By: Baba
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It's a New Year, which means it's time to make resolutions — even for prominent evangelical leaders. The Babylon Bee asked the following well-known figures in the faith what they hope to accomplish in 2024:
Published: Thursday, March 28th, 2024 @ 7:31 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Hamas is reeling after losing two of their most cherished leaders on the same day: military commander Saleh al-Arouri, and Harvard President Claudine Gay.
Published: Wednesday, March 27th, 2024 @ 12:47 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Green Day Releases Edgy New Album Titled 'Get The Vaccine, Climate Change Is Real, And Trump Is Bad'Hot on the heels of its highly publicized television performance on New Year's Eve, the pop-punk band Green Day announced the release of an edgy new album titled Get the Vaccine, Climate Change Is Real, and Trump Is Bad.
Published: Tuesday, March 26th, 2024 @ 11:44 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Daily Wire host Matt Walsh passed away Monday aboard Southwest Airlines Flight WN2208 after the passenger in front of him reclined her seat and crushed him to death, officials announced.
Published: Tuesday, March 26th, 2024 @ 6:22 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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In what has been talked about as a "last-ditch attempt" to avoid all-out war, Texas has announced it has agreed to a two-state solution with the city of Austin. Officials hope this distinction will help calm decades of growing hostilities in the region.
Published: Tuesday, March 26th, 2024 @ 4:24 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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After facing weeks of pressure to resign following scandals involving campus antisemitism and plagiarism, Claudine Gay has announced she will step down as Harvard's President. She delivered her remarks this morning in a tearful speech entitled "Gettysburg Address."
Published: Tuesday, March 26th, 2024 @ 12:57 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Dread it. Run from it. 2024 has arrived all the same. But fear not as the team at The Babylon Bee has been hard at work for you coming up with the most probable, and completely accurate 2024 predictions to help you make it through the New Year.
Published: Tuesday, March 26th, 2024 @ 12:22 am
By: Babylon Bee
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The producers of a soon-to-be-released new blockbuster film are looking for the perfect, haunting remake of a popular pop song to play under the movie's trailer.
Published: Monday, March 25th, 2024 @ 1:15 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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To quiet some of the controversy that arose from the publication of a calendar featuring conservative women, a Republican political action committee has announced the release of a new "Real Conservative Men" calendar for 2024 featuring 12 pictures of Congressman Thomas Massie
Published: Sunday, March 24th, 2024 @ 11:33 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Times are tough here in the United States, especially for Christians.
Published: Sunday, March 24th, 2024 @ 6:18 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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California is known as one of the most beautiful places to live, partly due to the state's strong commitment to keeping the streets free from dangerous criminals.
Published: Sunday, March 24th, 2024 @ 3:08 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Pharmacies in the DC area are reporting a shortage of stimulant drugs following Biden's State of the Union Address last night.
Published: Sunday, March 24th, 2024 @ 8:22 am
By: Babylon Bee
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As 2023 wound to a close, local man Luis Garcia decided to escape from the terrifying state of living in today's America by enjoying a nice, relaxing game of Fallout 3 on his gaming computer.
Published: Saturday, March 23rd, 2024 @ 9:09 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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A new law passed in Canada this week required all men's room across the country to stock tampons in case Justin Trudeau pops in and happens to be on "that time of the month," sources confirmed Wednesday morning.
Published: Saturday, March 23rd, 2024 @ 6:37 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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As new studies reveal a significant decline in student literacy in the United States, experts examining the data have concluded the problem stems from there not being enough drag queen story hours in American libraries.
Published: Saturday, March 23rd, 2024 @ 4:49 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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A local man was tragically rendered unable to brush his teeth after he mistakenly neglected to pay the monthly subscription fee on his smart electric toothbrush.
Published: Saturday, March 23rd, 2024 @ 2:52 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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GROVELAND, IL - Pierce County's District Attorney has opened prosecution against an eight-year-old boy who reportedly terrorized two burglars robbing his parents' mansion.
Published: Saturday, March 23rd, 2024 @ 1:22 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Local man Don Richardson revealed himself to be utterly dead inside after failing to shed a single tear while the congregation of First Baptist Church sang "O Holy Night".
Published: Friday, March 22nd, 2024 @ 5:18 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Famed Christian apologist and professor Dr. William Lane Craig irrefutably proved God's existence today by simply pointing to a plate of freshly made fish tacos.
Published: Thursday, March 21st, 2024 @ 8:06 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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What began as a fun-filled afternoon of living room hijinx ended in tragedy today, as a middle-aged father was left in intensive care at a local hospital after getting down on the floor to play with his young children.
Published: Thursday, March 21st, 2024 @ 5:21 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Former Congressman Ron Paul was spotted muttering nervously to himself today while standing in line to see Santa Claus at a nearby shopping mall, as he hoped this would finally be the year he would get what he wanted by asking for the 47th consecutive year for Santa to end the Fed
Published: Wednesday, March 20th, 2024 @ 10:50 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Taylor Swift has set the internet ablaze once again after a photographer caught the superstar out on a romantic date with Pop Tart Guy.
Published: Wednesday, March 20th, 2024 @ 1:13 am
By: Babylon Bee
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From the border to the economy, President Biden has accomplished feats in 2023 that no one ever saw coming. With so many incredible achievements for the Biden administration this year, narrowing them down was no easy task!
Published: Wednesday, March 20th, 2024 @ 12:37 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Massive waves have come crashing into the California coast as the Lord in His graciousness has sent ocean waters to wash away the sidewalk poop.
Published: Tuesday, March 19th, 2024 @ 10:05 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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After falling into the depths of certain toasted doom, Pop Tart returned in power and glory to the land of the living as the newly minted "Pop Tart the White".
Published: Tuesday, March 19th, 2024 @ 9:31 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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