WWLD (What would Liberals do?): I care too | Eastern North Carolina Now

    Publisher's Note: On this community informational platform, we will examine the severe plight of the Liberal, and just how difficult it is for them to continue each day dealing with their obvious and overwhelming guilt of living in what was once a "free market society" - The United States of America.

    Even though this former British colony, reborn in 1776 and dedicated to the ideals of freedom and free markets, has lost much of its luster in the last half of the previous decade and beginning of this one, there are those who still embrace the principles of our forefathers and they, as should we all, embrace our brother Liberals and encourage them to continue - but in lesser numbers.

    In this new talk spot, beginning now far off in the neglected shadows of BCN, we shall endeavor to understand the Liberals for who they are, and what they contribute to our fast-changing society.

    As is our hope and policy, we would appreciate all comments and submissions from all, but especially Liberals, because your voice counts and it should be heard.

I Care Too

    Let me begin by expressing: I love Liberals, and not just the Christian love of our kind, which stipulates that we should summarily love our fellow man, but real, respectful, abiding love that on occasion intones, "Thank you for all that you do."

    While, I may well understand that many of you who know me and my positions may want to cry out: "Stan, have you lost your fool mind?" Please consider this.

    Liberals perform a valuable function in our society.

    First: Liberals provide the perfect counterbalance to rational thought. Liberals are indoctrinated to feel situations, not think through them. They feel that it's society's duty, through the auspices of government with its Police Power of taxation, to take care of those who can't, and progressively won't, take care of themselves. Their well-considered plan of aid to others knows no bounds, and they believe it should be continued beyond the borders of the U.S.A. and her territories. For example: "Illegal immigration as a form of foreign aid."

    Second: Sometimes Liberals are a very sad people, but often they have the supreme capacity to be a very funny people.

    Every day, without fail, I find some measure of dark comedy in something they say or do. It is like giving rowdy children, who are not terribly hungry, food and instructing them to make a difference. The characteristic result: Food fight, reminiscent of the one started by Bluto in "Animal House." Liberals mean well, but they always leave a terrific mess.
"See if you can guess what I am now. I'm a zit. Get it?" - John Blutarsky (Bluto) - "Animal House," 1978.
    The daily comedy that I mine from Liberals is not something I search for. I do not have to. It is everywhere. From television news and opinion to television comedy - no shortage of material. Don't watch FOX News, instead watch MSNBC with a more opened mind, to discover that partial supply of those humorous nuggets, which will either drive to anger or near-delirium in laughter, depending on your prescribed nature. Of course, I choose the latter.

    And personally, what punctuates much of their infinite material that humors me is the fact that I have long been parked on the Democrat mailing list, which I have previously made mention of in this publication. The e-mails extolling the virtues of Liberals, and the villainy of Conservatives, just never ends, and rather than being terminally frustrated, I just tend to see the lighter side of their sad picture of life that they (their elected leaders) continue to perpetuate upon themselves and, since 2006, the rest of our American society.

    My mother, who was always a perfect Southern lady, would tell me, "It is rude to laugh at people, but rather you should laugh with them." In the true sense of comedy, I have never really understood my mother's precepts, but I do well appreciate her true sense of Southern manners. Regardless, I will just have to continue my unmannered Southern nature of laughing at them, and sometimes ... pretty damn hard. Sorry, Mom.

    Thirdly: Liberals make me, and others like me, look good by default. It is just too easy, and I realize that, but that is just a condition of their nature. While that very nature keeps me, and others like me, laughing our fool heads off, it is the same sum of their parts that causes them to lose every debate, without fail, when they gather the gumption to challenge one of us who have the opposing view.

    Still, you have to love them.

    So keep us laughing, because this new column will continue as long as I have material and the time to present it.

    Publisher's Note: We accept all contributions of opinion for and against all articles of interest in this publication. We also accept contributions with no definable opinion at all, but these posts best be well-written and concise, or at least pretty dang funny.