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Actors are back to work Thursday following the end of a historic 188-day strike that prevented them from participating in film, television, and chasing helpless starlets around casting couches.
Published: Tuesday, January 9th, 2024 @ 12:45 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Following the embarrassing accounting blunder that resulted in an additional $6.2 billion being sent to Ukraine, Department of Defense officials announced another $40 billion had been discovered underneath some couch cushions at the Pentagon.
Published: Sunday, August 6th, 2023 @ 5:34 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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A jury decided Tuesday that a handwritten will found under Aretha Franklin’s couch cushions is valid and trumps an earlier version found locked in a cabinet.
Published: Thursday, July 27th, 2023 @ 6:04 pm
By: Daily Wire
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Local atheist Jerry Carson spent another Sunday worshipping himself, say sources. The self-focused man reportedly woke up early to fix himself some breakfast before devoting himself to couch meditations for the remainder of the morning.
Published: Tuesday, July 25th, 2023 @ 6:11 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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KNOXVILLE, TN — Local men Dave Harding and Tyler Daniels, while hard at work helping their friends move furniture out of their apartment, have just announced unprompted that the couch isn't heavy at all, it's just an awkward shape.
Published: Sunday, July 23rd, 2023 @ 8:04 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Researchers with the U.S. Food & Drug Administration have determined that cereal reaches its peak flavor at 10 pm if eaten on the couch while watching a true crime documentary.
Published: Saturday, June 10th, 2023 @ 11:31 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Alvin and Nora Spleent, the parents of three adorable, rambunctious children, reportedly rushed to get their offspring fed, bathed, and into bed so the couple could sit down and enjoy their favorite tv show.
Published: Monday, January 2nd, 2023 @ 3:48 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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New York has unveiled its new tent shelter for the city’s growing migrant population, complete with XBoxes, big-screen televisions, and couches.
Published: Tuesday, October 25th, 2022 @ 1:50 pm
By: Daily Wire
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This week, local man Joseph Briones gave a rousing speech to his family about his role as king of his home. During his monologue, Briones cast a compelling vision of male leadership, all from under 25 floral pillows on the couch.
Published: Saturday, July 2nd, 2022 @ 8:03 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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According to sources, local feminist business executive Sarah McAndrews prefers to unwind after a hard day at work by sitting on the couch with a pint of ice cream while fantasizing about being a happily married stay-at-home mom.
Published: Thursday, May 26th, 2022 @ 10:38 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Sam Darnold’s transition from the New York Jets to the Carolina Panthers could be likened to the quarterback getting settled into his new apartment.
Published: Wednesday, June 2nd, 2021 @ 4:40 pm
By: Daniel Bunting
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Dr. Richard Couch, a doctor of osteopathic medicine, will join Vidant Orthopedics-Washington located at 1207 Highland Drive.
Published: Friday, March 20th, 2015 @ 1:41 am
By: Chris Downey
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Deputies were attempting to secure the driver in a patrol car to transport her to the Beaufort County Detention Center when she bit a Deputy on the left side of his face and continued to spit at the Deputies.
Published: Saturday, January 28th, 2012 @ 5:59 am
By: Stan Deatherage
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