The Political designated hitter rule-Who's on first? | Eastern North Carolina Now

    I am sure most people have heard the expression of "Life imitates Art far more than Art imitates Life."  Oscar Wilde made the expression popular back in 1889.  I'll bet he had no idea that we would still be doing it today.

  What is found in life and nature is not what is really there, but is that which artists have taught people to find there, through art. Oscar Wilde

    The common man would ask the question "which came first, the chicken or the egg?"  But the best way to explain this is the Designated Hitter or "DH" rule in baseball.

 "In Major League Baseball, the designated hitter is a hitter who does not play a position, but instead fills in the batting order for the pitcher."

    Now we all know that politicians have speech writers and consultants who test and retest phrases and speeches to see what has the most impact.  After many focus groups and polls to see what the people like, they condense the results down to 'Talking Points."    The candidate is then sat down and made to memorize the talking points until they can repeat them as if they were just something that popped into their head. They are taught certain keywords that will trigger the proper response.  All that is left then is to practice the look and smile while reciting someone else's words.

    I propose that we adopt the Major League Designated Hitter rule for the political process.  All debates would have a designated hitter or hitters take the place of the candidate.  Instead of going on News shows and discussing the issues, the designated hitter would go on those news shows and regurgitate the talking points. The candidates could then just go to various fund raising events and talk to potential donors to raise money to pay for the "DH" expenses. We could then have multiple debates through the country with all the "DH" standing in for the candidate.

    At election time, the ballots would not have the candidates' names listed but all their "DHers".  People could then vote for the DH that they think did a better job of explaining the talking points.  Each side can designate as many "DH" as they want, but they must be registered and every their every appearance would require a sign around their neck or a banner below their video image stating which team they are on. When the votes are counted, the total side with the most chosen "DHers" wins and the winning fund raising candidate would then take office.

   Oh wait, I forgot they already do this, but they just have not made it a rule about the sign part.  That is where the Life imitating Art part comes in.  You see in most plays that I have ever attended, there is a program showing the cast of characters and who plays each character. You can look at the program and see who is on first, or stage as the case may be.

   But what happens when you get an actor / player / candidate that does not believe in the designated hitter rule and decides to say what is really on his mind?  Well all bets are off then. I am still working on how many strikes and balls the real candidate gets before he advances to the White House.

It that too complicated or what?

Disclaimer: Pete Rose's spokesman says he has not endorsed Donald Trump but does not disavow that Pete signed the ball perhaps at the request of a fan.  Used here for humorous satire. I hope it does not keep Pete from the Baseball hall of fame, but I am not betting on it.