White House Promises To Walk Back Biden Statement Once Their Codebreakers Decipher It | Eastern North Carolina Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    WASHINGTON, DC     The expert codebreaking team at the NSA is working to decipher all the statements Biden made in his speech today, which the White House has promised to walk back as soon as they figure out what on earth he was saying.

    "We have all our top minds and most powerful AI working around the clock to determine what Biden meant when he said 'The Republicans are taking credit for the budsdacunclapsn.'" said Special Agent Buggs Derpflibbit. "Whatever he meant, I think we are confident in saying the official White House position is exactly the opposite."

    "Lebbinkrurumplit!" said Biden in response to the news. "Gargbargentwaddle iddit blargh simlaqupple!"

    Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre confirmed to reporters that Biden really meant to remind the American people that the economy is doing great, democracy is at stake in November, and climate change will kill everyone in 2 weeks. "Those are the official positions of the White House, and you should just assume that's what Biden is saying if you don't understand him," said Jean-Pierre.

    NSA codebreakers got stuck, however, after attempting to decipher Biden's disturbing story about "having a history" with a female friend going back to when she was 12 and he was 30. "I'm not sure what to make of that," said Special Agent Derpflibbit. "It's possible he's just a major weirdo."

poll#145

After one full year of the Biden /Harris Administration: Does Joe Biden have the intellectual capacity, and, or the energy to lead the United States of America through the mess that he predominately created ... in just one year?

  Yes

  No

  Unsure

1,220 total vote(s)     What's your Opinion?

poll#154

Inarguably, the policies of the Democrats in congress and Joe Biden as the Executive is plunging the United States into a recession, if we are not already there; a recession that was completely avoidable. Will abrupt changes in policies occur in time?

  Yes, the Democrats have a bold plan, yet to be revealed, to save us.

  No, there will have to be a complete undoing of the damage done by these Democrats.

  I can't do simple math, so how am I to understand the concept of basic economics.

1,216 total vote(s)     What's your Opinion?

poll#132

Considering that Joe Biden is considered by so many to be the Imposter President: Is he actually knowledgeable enough, wise enough, patriotic enough to be this Constitutional Republic's president at this difficult point in these tumultuous times?

  Yes, Mr. Biden is thoughtful and kind, and just so different from the "Orange Man".

  No, this representation of "president" is either too corrupt, too stupid, or both to be a real president.

  I just want the fun guy, who knew how to make stuff work back.

670 total vote(s)     What's your Opinion?