Van Gogh Cuts Off Own Ear So He Won’t Be Able To Hear Screaming Climate Change Protesters | Eastern North Carolina Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    LONDON     Sources at the National Gallery revealed today that a self-portrait of Vincent van Gogh cut its own ear off so that it would no longer have to hear the anguished cries of climate change protesters tossing tomato soup on his masterpieces.

    Going into a mad rage and reportedly losing consciousness for several minutes, van Gogh took a nearby knife and used it to viciously hack his ear off after the climate protesters went on and on about humanity needing to end its oil usage now.

    "If they keep it up, I'm going to cut off the other one, too," van Gogh said in disgust as the protesters chanted, "Stop big oil! Stop big oil!" after attempting to destroy his priceless work "Sunflowers." "This is just too much to take. Am I right, Dukey Boy?" he added to a nearby painting of the Duke of Wellington.

    "I asked you to stop calling me that," responded the Duke. "But yeah. These people are the worst."

    "Quite," agreed van Gogh.

    "Quite," agreed the Duke.

    "I don't mind them so much," chimed in Judas Iscariot from a nearby painting of Jesus's agony in the garden.

    "Shut up, Judas."

poll#148
Should the precepts and political ideals of the "Green New Deal," and the 2 year Democratic Socialist politicization of Covid Response continue to take precedent over cogent economic foundational norms?
  Yes, we must save the planet, and we must take whatever measures necessary to control the populations of the World to do so.
  No, the People should continue to have the freedom to make the correct decisions, as afforded to US by God, guaranteed by the Constitution, and beyond all manner of Authoritarian control.
  I have no idea ... I don't read much of what is real.
656 total vote(s)     What's your Opinion?

Go Back


Leave a Guest Comment

Your Name or Alias
Your Email Address ( your email address will not be published)
Enter Your Comment ( no code or urls allowed, text only please )




“Updated Mission Statements, Comrade!” Babylon Bee, Editorials, Op-Ed & Politics Man Texts Coworker To See If He Got Slack Message Telling Him To Check His Email


HbAD0

Latest Op-Ed & Politics

President Joe Biden took direct aim at Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas during a recent interview, referring to him simply as “the guy who likes to spend a lot of time on yachts.”
The best way the county and city can help hold down inflation is to resist all tax increases
Pope Francis lambasted leftist gender ideology during an address this week, warning that it presented an extreme danger to mankind.
amnesty would just encourage more illegal aliens to storm our borders
The Christmas candy was barely off the shelves when the Valentine’s candy appeared. Red and pink hearts with caramel and nut-filled chocolate goodness caught our eye. We are reminded of how we love love. Young love, especially.
far left sugar daddy has also funded anti-Israel groups and politicians in US
Be careful what you wish for, you may get it
America needs to wake up and get its priorities right

HbAD1

Former President Donald Trump suggested this week that if he becomes president again, he might allow Prince Harry to be deported.
It's a New Year, which means it's time to make resolutions — even for prominent evangelical leaders. The Babylon Bee asked the following well-known figures in the faith what they hope to accomplish in 2024:
Vice President Kamala Harris will visit a Minnesota Planned Parenthood clinic, reportedly the first time a president or vice president has visited an abortion facility.
An eight-mile stretch of the Blue Ridge Parkway near Asheville has been temporarily closed due to a string of “human and bear interactions,” the National Parks Service announced.
University of Wisconsin tried to punish conservatives for the fact that liberals regularly commit crimes to silence opposition
most voters think EU officials not doing a good job on illegal immigration
Come from behind by GOP candidate is a blueprint to 2024
Biden spending and energy policies to blame

HbAD2

 
Back to Top