Van Gogh Cuts Off Own Ear So He Won’t Be Able To Hear Screaming Climate Change Protesters | Eastern North Carolina Now | Sources at the National Gallery revealed today that a self-portrait of Vincent van Gogh cut its own ear off so that it would no longer have to hear the anguished cries of climate change protesters tossing tomato soup on his masterpieces.

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    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    LONDON     Sources at the National Gallery revealed today that a self-portrait of Vincent van Gogh cut its own ear off so that it would no longer have to hear the anguished cries of climate change protesters tossing tomato soup on his masterpieces.

    Going into a mad rage and reportedly losing consciousness for several minutes, van Gogh took a nearby knife and used it to viciously hack his ear off after the climate protesters went on and on about humanity needing to end its oil usage now.

    "If they keep it up, I'm going to cut off the other one, too," van Gogh said in disgust as the protesters chanted, "Stop big oil! Stop big oil!" after attempting to destroy his priceless work "Sunflowers." "This is just too much to take. Am I right, Dukey Boy?" he added to a nearby painting of the Duke of Wellington.

    "I asked you to stop calling me that," responded the Duke. "But yeah. These people are the worst."

    "Quite," agreed van Gogh.

    "Quite," agreed the Duke.

    "I don't mind them so much," chimed in Judas Iscariot from a nearby painting of Jesus's agony in the garden.

    "Shut up, Judas."

poll#148
Should the precepts and political ideals of the "Green New Deal," and the 2 year Democratic Socialist politicization of Covid Response continue to take precedent over cogent economic foundational norms?
  Yes, we must save the planet, and we must take whatever measures necessary to control the populations of the World to do so.
  No, the People should continue to have the freedom to make the correct decisions, as afforded to US by God, guaranteed by the Constitution, and beyond all manner of Authoritarian control.
  I have no idea ... I don't read much of what is real.
637 total vote(s)     What's your Opinion?

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