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Results found for "baby on board"


With rumors circulating about former President Joe Biden expressing a desire to return to politics, the editorial board of The Babylon Bee would like to offer our enthusiastic and heartfelt support for this thrilling possibility.
Published: Tuesday, July 29th, 2025 @ 12:37 pm By: Babylon Bee
With rumors circulating about former President Joe Biden expressing a desire to return to politics, the editorial board of The Babylon Bee would like to offer our enthusiastic and heartfelt support for this thrilling possibility.
 
Historians studying the Colosseum in Rome may have uncovered evidence of a first-century "He Gets Us" billboard that was hung over the arena. Experts speculate it was designed to help the controversial figure Jesus appeal to a much wider audience of arena attendees.
Historians studying the Colosseum in Rome may have uncovered evidence of a first-century "He Gets Us" billboard that was hung over the arena. Experts speculate it was designed to help the controversial figure Jesus appeal to a much wider audience of arena attendees.
 
California Governor Gavin Newsom announced this week he had selected recently-deceased Senator Dianne Feinstein's replacement by throwing a dart at a board full of pre-selected photos of black lesbian women.
California Governor Gavin Newsom announced this week he had selected recently-deceased Senator Dianne Feinstein's replacement by throwing a dart at a board full of pre-selected photos of black lesbian women.
 
In a last-ditch effort to stop Californians from moving in and ruining their state, Texans have resorted to putting up billboards in California telling everyone how terrible Texas is and how they probably should just stay in California.
Published: Sunday, November 12th, 2023 @ 8:53 am By: Babylon Bee
In a last-ditch effort to stop Californians from moving in and ruining their state, Texans have resorted to putting up billboards in California telling everyone how terrible Texas is and how they probably should just stay in California.
 
In response to mounting criticism of Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnel's fitness to serve, the Republican party has replaced McConnell with a far more lifelike cardboard cutout of the Kentucky senator, according to sources.
Published: Tuesday, November 7th, 2023 @ 1:48 pm By: Babylon Bee
In response to mounting criticism of Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnel's fitness to serve, the Republican party has replaced McConnell with a far more lifelike cardboard cutout of the Kentucky senator, according to sources.
 
In a stunning display while playing the board game Monopoly, Esau exchanged the highly coveted properties of Boardwalk and Park Place for a single bowl of Campbell's Soup.
Published: Tuesday, July 4th, 2023 @ 1:56 pm By: Babylon Bee
In a stunning display while playing the board game Monopoly, Esau exchanged the highly coveted properties of Boardwalk and Park Place for a single bowl of Campbell's Soup.
 
A successful marketing firm in the U.K. has come up with an ingenious plan, deciding that the centuries-old landmark Piccadilly Circus is an ideal place for an enormous Burger King billboard.
Published: Friday, April 14th, 2023 @ 1:58 am By: Babylon Bee
A successful marketing firm in the U.K. has come up with an ingenious plan, deciding that the centuries-old landmark Piccadilly Circus is an ideal place for an enormous Burger King billboard.
 
Tom Brady announced today he has officially signed a three year contract with the Sunnyshade Retirement Home Shuffleboard Team.
Published: Friday, February 10th, 2023 @ 4:32 am By: Babylon Bee
Tom Brady announced today he has officially signed a three year contract with the Sunnyshade Retirement Home Shuffleboard Team.
 
A new bill introduced in the Texas state legislature would legally include a child in the womb as a second person in high occupancy vehicle (HOV) lanes.
Published: Sunday, December 11th, 2022 @ 12:43 pm By: Daily Wire
A new bill introduced in the Texas state legislature would legally include a child in the womb as a second person in high occupancy vehicle (HOV) lanes.
 
After hundreds of Muslim parents attended a school board meeting to protest pornographic material in elementary school libraries, the DOJ and FBI leaped into action to make sure all parents in attendance were added to the No-Fly List.
After hundreds of Muslim parents attended a school board meeting to protest pornographic material in elementary school libraries, the DOJ and FBI leaped into action to make sure all parents in attendance were added to the No-Fly List.
 
Board room Demons erupted with thunderous applause and praise for their CEO Satan as he pitched another sinister idea of rebranding the dated term "child sacrifice" with "abortion."
Published: Monday, October 10th, 2022 @ 3:19 am By: Babylon Bee
Board room Demons erupted with thunderous applause and praise for their CEO Satan as he pitched another sinister idea of rebranding the dated term "child sacrifice" with "abortion."
 
The Swilton Creek Neighborhood Facebook Group again demonstrated its usefulness by providing a helpful warning that some teenagers were outside skateboarding.
The Swilton Creek Neighborhood Facebook Group again demonstrated its usefulness by providing a helpful warning that some teenagers were outside skateboarding.
 
Amid mounting accusations of attempting to intimidate former President Trump from running for re-election in 2024, Attorney General Merrick Garland explained today that when the FBI was tipped off about a school board protest at Mar-A-Lago, they mobilized without delay
Published: Friday, August 12th, 2022 @ 6:14 pm By: Babylon Bee
Amid mounting accusations of attempting to intimidate former President Trump from running for re-election in 2024, Attorney General Merrick Garland explained today that when the FBI was tipped off about a school board protest at Mar-A-Lago, they mobilized without delay
 
In a touching moment of clarity this week, personnel from the Department of Homeland Security Disinformation Governance Board realized that the true disinformation they've been looking for was inside them all along.
Published: Saturday, May 28th, 2022 @ 8:14 am By: Babylon Bee
In a touching moment of clarity this week, personnel from the Department of Homeland Security Disinformation Governance Board realized that the true disinformation they've been looking for was inside them all along.
 
WASHINGTON, D.C.—In its first big win since the inauguration in 2021, the Biden Administration announced that the Disinformation Governance Board has narrowly outlasted failed subscription program CNN+.
Published: Friday, May 27th, 2022 @ 1:55 pm By: Babylon Bee
WASHINGTON, D.C.—In its first big win since the inauguration in 2021, the Biden Administration announced that the Disinformation Governance Board has narrowly outlasted failed subscription program CNN+.
 
Former President Donald Trump has declared his very first move after victory in 2024 will be to make himself head of the new Disinformation Governance Board.
Published: Monday, May 16th, 2022 @ 11:43 pm By: Babylon Bee
Former President Donald Trump has declared his very first move after victory in 2024 will be to make himself head of the new Disinformation Governance Board.
 
Ever since hearing the news of President Biden creating a 'Disinformation Governance Board', George Orwell has been really kicking himself for not thinking of it first.
Published: Wednesday, May 11th, 2022 @ 1:12 am By: Babylon Bee
Ever since hearing the news of President Biden creating a 'Disinformation Governance Board', George Orwell has been really kicking himself for not thinking of it first.
 
The official DHS Disinformation Governance Board, more popularly known as the Ministry of Truth, confirmed today their latest disinformation findings: Rachel Levine is a woman.
Published: Wednesday, May 11th, 2022 @ 12:35 am By: Babylon Bee
The official DHS Disinformation Governance Board, more popularly known as the Ministry of Truth, confirmed today their latest disinformation findings: Rachel Levine is a woman.
 
The Disinformation Governance Board has wasted no time since its official formation this week, and has already deployed thousands of advanced disinformation detectors throughout the country.
Published: Tuesday, May 10th, 2022 @ 10:20 am By: Babylon Bee
The Disinformation Governance Board has wasted no time since its official formation this week, and has already deployed thousands of advanced disinformation detectors throughout the country.
 
In its first official act, the new DHS Government Disinformation Board ruled today that all criticism of the Government Disinformation Board is disinformation.
Published: Monday, May 9th, 2022 @ 5:09 pm By: Babylon Bee
In its first official act, the new DHS Government Disinformation Board ruled today that all criticism of the Government Disinformation Board is disinformation.
 
The Department of Homeland Security has formed the Disinformation Governance Board to bravely combat incorrect opinions on the internet.
Published: Monday, May 9th, 2022 @ 4:53 pm By: Babylon Bee
The Department of Homeland Security has formed the Disinformation Governance Board to bravely combat incorrect opinions on the internet.
 

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