Board Room Demons Applaud As CEO Satan Suggests Rebranding Child Sacrifice As 'Women's Healthcare' | Eastern NC Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    HELL     Board room Demons erupted with thunderous applause and praise for their CEO Satan as he pitched another sinister idea of rebranding the dated term "child sacrifice" with "abortion."

    "Ok everyone, listen up and write this down. I've got another genius idea. It may be one of my most twisted, heinous schemes yet. We take the term 'child sacrifice' and replace it with the word 'abortion' instead!" said the Prince of Darkness with an evil grin as he was met with cheers and vigorous clapping.

    "Our most recent demonic focus groups have revealed that people are less likely to kill their unborn when they think that they are participating in a satanic act of worship like child sacrifice. So icky, pagan sounding terms like 'child sacrifice' are out and 'abortion' is in!" said Satan with a wicked cackle.

    According to sources, all the board members unanimously agreed to Satan's proposal. The Demon executives hope that this change will lead many humans to murder their babies without a second thought.

    "If we want as many abortions as possible, then we definitely don't want people to think of themselves as the pagans of old who callously sacrificed their children in hopes of a demon giving them a better harvest or a life, " said Moloch. "We want them to think of themselves as selfless and even virtuous. We want them to choose to 'do what's right in their own eyes'."

    At publishing time, Satan called an emergency board meeting to propose replacing the nasty words "chemical castration" and "child mutilation" with "gender-affirming care."

poll#152

With Roe v Wade (originated in 1973) overturned by the US Supreme Court, thereby allowing decisions on abortion legislation completely returned to the states: Where do you find your position on such a "Life and Death" issue for the American People?

  Yes, I approve of the US Supreme Court's decision to reinstate this "medical" issue back to the states' legislative responsibility to regulate.

  No, I believe that every woman should have complete access to abortion on demand.

  This issue is far beyond my intellectual capacity to understand.

586 total vote(s)     What's your Opinion?

poll#154

Inarguably, the policies of the Democrats in congress and Joe Biden as the Executive is plunging the United States into a recession, if we are not already there; a recession that was completely avoidable. Will abrupt changes in policies occur in time?

  Yes, the Democrats have a bold plan, yet to be revealed, to save us.

  No, there will have to be a complete undoing of the damage done by these Democrats.

  I can't do simple math, so how am I to understand the concept of basic economics.

1,217 total vote(s)     What's your Opinion?