Nevada
Pro: You could strike it rich in the casino.
Con: You won't.
New Hampshire
Pro: The slogan is
"Live free or die", a libertarian philosophy.
Con: This slogan has attracted many libertarians.
New Jersey
Pro: Cool TV shows like Jersey Shore.
Con: If that's the pro, we're not even going to tell you what the con is.
New Mexico
Pro: Weird Al wrote an epic song about Albuquerque.
Con: Everyone asks you if you've seen the places from Breaking Bad.
New York
Pro: Low crime thanks to the efforts of your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man.
Con: Spider-Man isn't real and you've just been mugged.
North Carolina
Pro: Hurricanes (hockey team).
Con: Hurricanes (like, LITERAL HURRICANES).
North Dakota
Pro: Funny accents like in the movie Fargo.
Con: If you forget to close a window you freeze to death.
Ohio
Pro: It's not Michigan.
Con: It's Ohio.
Oklahoma
Pro: All the Californians are moving to Texas instead of here.
Con: Several times a year a massive tornado will threaten to murder you.
Oregon
Pro: Beautiful beaches, trees, and mountains.
Con: Like a cancerous tumor in a healthy lung, Portland exists.
Pennsylvania
Pro: You can live in an uppity city or in the backwoods country with the Amish.
Con: PennDOT.
(note: we have no clue what this means, but our Bee writer from Pennsylvania said locals will find this hilarious. If you locals don't like it, please let us know and he will be sacked).
Rhode Island
Pro: Everything is close together.
Con: Not an actual island - false advertising.
South Carolina
Pro: Amazing food, golf, and beaches. Surprisingly cool pirate history.
Con: There are more alligators than people, and they are surprisingly organized.
South Dakota
Pro: Mount Rushmore.
Con: Mount Rushmore still doesn't have Trump's face on it.
(Ron DeSantis did not pay us enough money to sponsor this list item).
Tennessee
Pro: Incredible music scene.
Con: It's country music.
Texas
Pro: It's such a great place to live that all the Californians are moving here and becoming conservatives and voting for Republicans to keep Texas red.
Con: Wait - what? They're moving there and voting for the same policies that ruined the state they left? Why in tarnation would they do that?!
Utah
Pro: Lots of big families and friendly people.
Con: Hard to remember if your neighbor's 7th kid is named Rayleighlynn or Reighlynnleigh.
Vermont
Pro: Fall foliage, maple syrup.
Con: Statistically speaking, you're pretty likely to be living next to one of Bernie Sanders' homes.
Virginia
Pro: Long history of political philosophy and secession.
Con: You're getting a bit too close to those rich men north of Richmond.
Washington
Pro: Most of the state is not Seattle and is actually quite nice.
Con: Overrun with teenage girls looking for the places where Twilight was shot.
West Virginia
Pro: The mountains are gorgeous.
Con: You have to spend your entire life inside the mountains getting coal.
Wisconsin
Pro: They make incredible beer and cheese.
Con: Future Hall-Of-Fame quarterback just left the Packers for the Jets. The JETS.
Wyoming
Pro: Very remote and secretive.
Con: It may not exist. Have you ever met anyone from there?
Did we get your state wrong? Shout angrily at your computer screen, or become a subscriber and let us know in the comments!