Ten Foolproof Tricks To Get Your Kid To Read

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Ten Foolproof Tricks To Get Your Kid To Read

Published: Sunday, May 22nd, 2022 @ 10:29 am
By: Babylon Bee ( More Entries )

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    It's important for kids to read because it nurtures their imagination and will help them understand important concepts like the political background in the world of Dune-or why socialism fails every time it's tried.

    Check out these sweet life hacks that will get your kid reading in no time!

    1) Disguise a book as a Nintendo Switch: Before they realize their mistake they will be trapped in a world of imagination!

    2) Burn all their toys and throw their tablet in the trash: Tell them aliens did it so they'll still love you.

    3) Tell them the Bible has tons of battles and killing in it: King Zedekiah's kids were killed in front of him and then his eyes were gouged out before he was finally led to Babylon in chains. Gnarly!

    4) Remind them they could end up like President Biden if they don't read: Or worse-Kamala Harris.

    5) Explain that there are jokes in the Babylon Bee articles, not just the headline: The rumors are true.

    6) Explain that you did a "vibe check" and reading is "totes not sus": Only the cool kids do it, yo!

    7) Go back in time to the 1800s when there was nothing else to do: Try 1897. Dracula will have just come out so maybe you can get a nice special edition from Barnes and Noble.

    8) Buy them a comic book: They won't even realize they're reading! Devious!

    9) Tell them after they read The Federalist Papers you will let them see the movie: That Robert Redford is so charming.

    10) Or, if you're lazy, just buy them a Tuttle Twins book: Problem solved!

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