Don't Be A Sexist: Here Are 9 Huge Advantages Of Lady Preachers | Eastern NC Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    You probably have a male pastor and haven't even considered a female pastor. Well, this is because you are a sexist. There are tons of advantages to having a lady preacher. We've included just nine of them here:

    1. You only have to tithe 78 cents on the dollar. - Wow! Huge cost savings for the congregation.

    2. No sports illustrations. - Girls don't watch sports, so they will never compare David beating Goliath to some dumb football game.

    3. You don't have to listen to them. - You can just kind of nod and smile and say "Mmhmm" when she preaches and "that's nice, dear."

    4. When the sermon goes long they always bring Capri Suns and orange slices for everyone. - And everyone is a winner.

    5. But sermons tend to be short because they just say "you know what you did" or give the congregation the silent treatment. - Forget lengthy descriptions of your sin -- you should know what you did.

    6. It's not weird when they wear makeup. - No more awkwardness when your pastor shows up in eyeliner!

    7. Technically, the Bible bans them from speaking in church. - If they're starting to call you out on your sin, you can just point to 1 Timothy 2 and remind them that they're not even supposed to be talking right now.

    8. They don't talk about their smokin' hot wife every sermon. - Praise the Lord -- no more going on and on about their "smokin' hot wife."

    9. She is biologically capable of creating more church members. - Is attendance down? Just have the lady preacher pump out a few more future church members!

    What are you waiting for? Go on LinkedIn and find your congregation a she-pastor!