Trump Thanks FBI For Kicking Off His 2024 Reelection Campaign | Eastern NC Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

Publisher's Note: This series of posts on this one issue - The Unprecedented FBI Raid of President Trump's Mar-a-Lago Estate - can all be found here on ENC NOW.

    MAR-A-LAGO, FL     The morning after Trump's Florida home was raided by FBI agents, the former president took the time to thank the FBI for officially kicking off his reelection campaign.

    "I would like to thank the F...B...I... remember them, the FBI? How about those beauties, huh?" said Trump to a roaring crowd of thousands outside his resort. "They came into my home to make your favorite president look like a criminal. Such losers, such losers. But everyone still loves me so it's ok. They didn't even find anything! I'm gonna be the President again!"

    Sources close to Trump say his first act as President will be to fire his own appointed FBI Director Christopher Wray and replace him with a used dust mop from the Capitol janitor's closet before razing the Hoover building and banishing all FBI agents to Gitmo.

    "I'm gonna fire everyone, literally everyone in government," said Trump. Federal Reserve? Gone! EPA? Gone! CIA? Gone! Department of Education? ATF? HHS? Gone, gone, gone!"

    The news media responded to Trump's statement by calling him a "threat to democracy worse than Hitler" while tearing their clothes and heaping dust upon the crowns of their heads.

    At publishing time, Trump's approval had gone up over 30%, only to plunge again after he made another nasty comment about Mika Brzezinski's facelift.

poll#157

Was it a judicious ploy for Joe Biden's FBI to execute the unprecedented raid of President Trump's Mar-a-Lago estate?

  Yes; the Cheneys despise this former Republican president, and for good reason ... so they say.

  No; never has a former president been treated with this level of vindictive abuse by those temporarily in power.

  Who cares? It's Trump.

932 total vote(s)     What's your Opinion?

poll#154

Inarguably, the policies of the Democrats in congress and Joe Biden as the Executive is plunging the United States into a recession, if we are not already there; a recession that was completely avoidable. Will abrupt changes in policies occur in time?

  Yes, the Democrats have a bold plan, yet to be revealed, to save us.

  No, there will have to be a complete undoing of the damage done by these Democrats.

  I can't do simple math, so how am I to understand the concept of basic economics.

1,216 total vote(s)     What's your Opinion?