13 Desperately Needed Projects Funded By The Inflation Reduction Act

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13 Desperately Needed Projects Funded By The Inflation Reduction Act

Published: Wednesday, August 10th, 2022 @ 5:55 pm
By: Babylon Bee ( More Entries )

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    The Inflation Reduction Act is rampaging through Congress right now and is expected to become the law of the land. But what is in the bill? We went through the text line by line so that you, and members of Congress, don't have to!

    Here are the most interesting projects funded by the bill:

$10,000 for a money gun Joe Manchin can fire into the crowd at WV football games: Krysten Sinema only gets a t-shirt cannon. Sad.
$1 billion to mail every American their own copy of "Morbius": It would bring America together.
$45 billion for the establishment of a new federal agency to investigate why Biden fell off his bicycle: Experts believe it may be linked to climate change.
A requirement that all American nuclear missiles must be solar-powered by 2030: An important step for green energy!
$77 billion to invest in an industrial-sized flamethrower for setting money on fire: Remove the money, remove the inflation. Problem solved!
$20.88 million to fund free gym memberships for all IRS agents to make them more intimidating: BODYSLAM! CRUNCH! BLAMO!
$4.5 billion for another Zelensky VOGUE photoshoot: He's so dreamy...
$498.95 to fund a pair of trendy new glasses for Krysten Sinema: You go, gurl!
A personal guarantee to Joe Manchin that the electricity for your new car will come from good, clean West Virginia coal: Not positive there will be follow through on this one.
$400 billion explicitly set aside to increase inflation: Never let a good crisis go to waste.
$2 billion to remake Amazon's The Rings of Power with Peter Jackson as showrunner: We think Thomas Massie slipped this one in.
Funeral expenses for AOC: It's the right thing to do after her tragic death on January 6th.
Joe Manchin gets to sit in the Oval Office chair for 15 minutes: Your constituents will remember you now, Joe.