Child Scientists Discover Optimal Time For Getting Hydrated Is After Being Tucked In And Kissed Goodnight | Eastern North Carolina Now | In a breakthrough discovery, child scientists have revealed that the most critical time of the day for hydration is after they have been tucked in and kissed goodnight.

Coronavirus Disease 2019 (COVID-19)
t    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    U.S.     In a breakthrough discovery, child scientists have revealed that the most critical time of the day for hydration is after they have been tucked in and kissed goodnight.

    "While hydration matters throughout the day, our studies indicate that getting out of bed for at least one more drink after mom and dad have kissed us goodnight is absolutely imperative and a non-negotiable," said Dr. Buster, a 5-year-old and post-bedtime hydration expert. "The data is clear and the science is settled on this matter."

    According to the child scientist's research, regardless of how much water a child drinks beforehand, once they are tucked in, rapid onset child dehydration occurs. This forces the child to get out of bed and go ask their parents for a drink, and while they are down there they might also maybe see what the parents are up to or whatever, it's really not that important to them, they're simply just down there because they are thirsty - not to play or watch more TV.

    Many science-denying parents have expressed their skepticism about the results of this recent scientific discovery. "We've given the kids dozens of warnings giving them ample opportunity to get a drink before bedtime," said Betty McKenzie, a local mother of 4. "In fact, they adamantly said they weren't thirsty at all until the lights were turned out."

    At publishing time, child scientists made yet another breakthrough discovery that the best time to use the bathroom is after rehydrating and being tucked in and kissed goodnight.
Go Back


Leave a Guest Comment

Your Name or Alias
Your Email Address ( your email address will not be published)
Enter Your Comment ( no code or urls allowed, text only please )




10 Drastic Changes CNN Is Making To Bring Back Viewers Babylon Bee, Editorials, Op-Ed & Politics 10 Exciting New Career Possibilities For The Retiring Dr. Fauci


HbAD0

Latest Op-Ed & Politics

Netherlands is world's second largest exporter of food by value
A new poll shows that Republican voters put Florida Governor Ron DeSantis at the top of deep list of politicians they want to see influence the party’s direction.
Davis Patterson, a bystander during a shooting that left a dozen dead, has been arrested for misgendering the shooter, Blake Jacobson, who is non-binary.
Twitter CEO Elon Musk announced a blanket amnesty for Twitter users permanently suspended from the platform.
With rising interest rates, experts expect the U.K. to remain in a recession into 2024
CNN host Alisyn Camerota and a guest on the network struggled with the gender non-conforming identity of the Colorado “Club Q” shooting suspect.
U.S. State Department officials defended themselves Sunday after awarding Ecuador a grant of over $20,000 for a cultural center to host drag shows for LGBTQ communities in the South American country.

HbAD1

The N.C. Home Builders Association is sharing its concerns about a recent court ruling against an Ashe County asphalt plant.
says schools are for education, not indoctrination
Former Trump administration economic adviser Larry Kudlow blasted President Joe Biden, accusing him of lying about the state of the economy.
President Joe Biden announced his intention to push for new gun control legislation in the lame-duck session of Congress.
Wondering why people actually still vote for Democrats? Believe it or not, there are still Democrat voters out there and we've compiled their top reasons for doing so!
Two NBA players were ejected from a game over the weekend after they engaged in a fight that ended up in the stands.
When I was a tenth grade student, I had the good fortune to have an English teacher named MS. Comer.
While Arizona’s handling of the midterm election has been the focus of media outlets and pundits for some time, California still has more than 250,000 uncounted ballots across the state.

HbAD2

At least two counties in Arizona have confirmed that their certification of the 2022 election will be delayed as the state’s attorney general’s office wrote a letter claiming there’s evidence of “statutory violations” that occurred in Maricopa County on Election Day.
In a shocking statement to police, Paul Pelosi claimed that he was assaulted by a man who threw hammers at him while shouting, "THIS IS MAGA COUNTRY!"
New Hampshire Republican Governor Chris Sununu traded barbs with NBC News’s Chuck Todd over what voters should prioritize this election cycle.
The Biden administration began notifying Americans who applied for student loan forgiveness on Saturday that their requests had been greenlit, even as the controversial policy continues to move through the federal court system.
Thirteen billion people have already died horrible deaths mere hours after former President Donald Trump was reinstated to Twitter.
Even as health officials warn of a coming winter spike in COVID cases and the federal government urges millions of Americans to get a third booster, worry over the virus has dropped to just 28%, according to a new poll.
While speaking at a public symposium on behalf of The Association of Donut Lovers, Georgia Governor Stacey Abrams claimed obesity was just numbers manufactured by her bathroom scale.
Conservative commentators like Meghan McCain, Clay Travis, and others dragged CBS News for taking a “victory lap” on the authenticity of Hunter Biden’s laptop years after most outlets had already confirmed it was real.

HbAD3

 
Back to Top