10 Telltale Signs The FBI Is Listening In On Your Phone Call | Eastern North Carolina Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    Are you a red-blooded American PATRIOT who loves God, guns, family, and freedom? Better watch out, the FBI probably thinks you're a domestic terrorist! They could be watching you read this right now. They could be listening to your phone calls!

    Fight back against those Feds by learning all the telltale signs one of them is listening in on your phone conversation:

1. You hear slow, heavy mouth-breathing on the line: And the faint sound of CNN playing on someone's TV. Creepy!
2. The hold music sounds suspiciously like a guy humming out of tune: George Michael's "Careless Whisper" sounds nothing like that!
3. All your insurrection attempts have been foiled: How do they know?!
4. You see a guy with an FBI hat hiding in your bushes with headphones on: Or, that just might be your weird neighbor Steve.
5. You're bragging about how beautiful your golf course is, everyone says so and how it's tremendous really to be everyone's favorite President of all time: Oh no! You're Donald Trump! Yep, your phone's definitely bugged.
6. All the details for the surprise birthday party you're throwing for your spouse get leaked to CNN: And now the "fake news" is all out on your front lawn. Not cool, FBI!
7. When chatting with friends about what to do this weekend, you hear a voice say "Or maybe we can kidnap the Governor of Michigan!": Subtle.
8. Your eardrums are shattered by a loud screech of unbridled rage whenever you say the word "Trump": RRREEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
9. You feel like the person you're talking to is stalling, keeping you on the line for extra time, then suddenly you hear "OK PEOPLE WE GOT IT!": Prepare to be raided, MAGA terrorist.
10. You've ever attended a school board meeting: You're clearly dangerous.

poll#162

In what may be the most divisive period in modern American History, even more divisive than the turbulent sixties due to today's lack of patriotism, consider what are the major catalysts causing so much of this calamity of conflict, and vote: What most instigates the division of America, on this day September 20, 2022?

  Racism within our society

  Sex realignment to the detriment of our society.

  Biden /Harris Wide Open Southern Border Policy for the Demographic Upheaval of OUR Constitutional Republic

  Rampant Crime in Democratic controlled cities, and the possible contagion elsewhere

  Covid Pandemic, and its mishandling at the political, and bureaucratic levels.

  The unresolved questions /allegation regarding the flawed 2020 General Election

  January 6th Riot or "Armed Insurrection", depending upon patriotic perspective

  Joe Biden as Divisive Leader; Ineffective and Corrupt Executive

  Failed Education Industry, from an overall perspective, regarding all levels of education.

  Propagandistic Media in complete conflict with the First Amendment's guarantee of Freedom of Speech, and the awesome responsibility of a Free Press..

  "Orangeman Bad!"

  Bureaucracy rushing to a behemoth size, its unjustified expense, and far too often overreach.

  The Weaponized Deep State for political purposes

  A secular ambivalence to all that is real.

  Record number of overdose deaths from opioids and now Fentanyl

  Biden Administration's disastrous Foreign Policy

  Bidenflation /supply chain failure inevitably evolving into stagflation and recession.

  "Ultra MAGA Extremists" freely speaking louder AND LOUDER!

927 total vote(s)     What's your Opinion?

poll#154

Inarguably, the policies of the Democrats in congress and Joe Biden as the Executive is plunging the United States into a recession, if we are not already there; a recession that was completely avoidable. Will abrupt changes in policies occur in time?

  Yes, the Democrats have a bold plan, yet to be revealed, to save us.

  No, there will have to be a complete undoing of the damage done by these Democrats.

  I can't do simple math, so how am I to understand the concept of basic economics.

1,216 total vote(s)     What's your Opinion?