Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.
SACRAMENTO, CA This week, California Pastor John MacArthur wrote an open letter reprimanding California Governor Gavin Newsom after the governor took out billboards across the country promoting abortion services using quotes from Jesus. Sources say the governor is fed up with the constant calls to repentance and that during a wild party at The French Laundry yesterday, he demanded that the head of John MacArthur The Baptist be brought to him on a platter.
"This MacArthur has been a thorn in my side long enough - I want you to give me at once the head of John MacArthur the Baptist on a platter!"
Governor Newsom spoke to a confused server in answer to the question "And what would you like, sir?"
MacArthur defends his appeal for the governor to repent and be saved with Scriptures that show prophets confronting leaders, citing as examples Moses confronting Pharaoh, Nathan confronting David, Daniel confronting Nebuchadnezzar, Elijah confronting Ahab, and others. The California-based preacher has also instructed his congregation to pray for the governor to humble himself before God and be forgiven of his sins, citing the Apostle Paul's command for Timothy's congregation to pray for Nero's salvation, and also citing Paul's direct evangelism to Herod Agrippa during his trial.
Critics contend that John MacArthur the Baptist is failing to acknowledge the wide range of Scriptures that can be used to support abortion. Their examples include Jesus's command to "suffer the little children to come unto me,"
the inspiring passage in Exodus where Pharaoh tells the Hebrew midwives to exterminate male babies with the command "if it is a son, you shall kill him, but if it is a daughter, she shall live,"
and the stirring pro-choice hero King Herod: "when he saw that he had been tricked by the wise men, he became furious, and he sent and killed all the male children in Bethlehem and in all that region who were two years old or under."
Newsom has affirmed that these powerful Bible verses support abortions, and has announced plans for them to be put on more billboards across the nation as soon as possible.
At publishing time, Pastor John MacArthur had been arrested and was being held in Sacramento, but has since appealed to Biden for a federal trial and was reportedly told "To Biden you have appealed; to Biden you shall go."