A Constitutional Republic, where the First Amendment is Essential to OUR Survival
God Moved To FBI Watch List After Pro-Life Comments Surface
Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.
WORLD The Federal Bureau of Investigation has placed God on its watch list after discovering a troubling history of extreme pro-life comments.
"We believe this 'God' character to be the ringleader of a worldwide network of dangerous anti-choice extremists," said Attorney General Merrick Garland. "We suspect he is extremely dangerous, and we urge anyone with knowledge as to his whereabouts to contact the FBI immediately."
Law enforcement believes God might be inspiring thousands of followers to violate the sacred Freedom of Access to Clinic Entrances Act, known as the FACE Act. Several followers of God have been arrested for blocking access to abortion by praying and singing outside abortion clinics.
Several comments attributed to God implicating him in dangerous pro-life activism around the world include:
"These unhinged comments are a direct threat to women's healthcare and to democracy itself," said FBI Director Christopher Wray. "We are asking God to turn himself in to authorities before more women lose access to their important right to kill babies."
At publishing time, the FBI was flooded with millions of tips from people claiming they knew where God is.
Go Back
WORLD The Federal Bureau of Investigation has placed God on its watch list after discovering a troubling history of extreme pro-life comments.
"We believe this 'God' character to be the ringleader of a worldwide network of dangerous anti-choice extremists," said Attorney General Merrick Garland. "We suspect he is extremely dangerous, and we urge anyone with knowledge as to his whereabouts to contact the FBI immediately."
Law enforcement believes God might be inspiring thousands of followers to violate the sacred Freedom of Access to Clinic Entrances Act, known as the FACE Act. Several followers of God have been arrested for blocking access to abortion by praying and singing outside abortion clinics.
Several comments attributed to God implicating him in dangerous pro-life activism around the world include:
- "Before I formed you in your mother's womb I chose you. Before you were born I set you apart."
- "Rescue those who are being taken away to death; hold back those who are stumbling to the slaughter."
- "Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward."
- "Thou shalt not murder."
"These unhinged comments are a direct threat to women's healthcare and to democracy itself," said FBI Director Christopher Wray. "We are asking God to turn himself in to authorities before more women lose access to their important right to kill babies."
At publishing time, the FBI was flooded with millions of tips from people claiming they knew where God is.
Latest Op-Ed & Politics
 |
Biden abuses power to turn statute on its head; womens groups to sue
Published: Friday, April 19th, 2024 @ 8:28 pm
By: John Steed
|
 |
The Missouri Senate approved a constitutional amendment to ban non-U.S. citizens from voting and also ban ranked-choice voting.
Published: Friday, April 19th, 2024 @ 12:33 pm
By: Daily Wire
|
 |
Democrats prosecuting political opponets just like foreign dictrators do
Published: Friday, April 19th, 2024 @ 10:58 am
By: John Steed
|
 |
populist / nationalist / sovereigntist right are kingmakers for new government
Published: Friday, April 19th, 2024 @ 10:04 am
By: John Steed
|
 |
18 year old boy who thinks he is girl planned to shoot up elementary school in Maryland
Published: Friday, April 19th, 2024 @ 8:46 am
By: John Steed
|
 |
Biden assault on democracy continues to build as he ramps up dictatorship
Published: Friday, April 19th, 2024 @ 8:26 am
By: John Steed
|
 |
One would think that the former Attorney General would have known better
|
 |
illegal alien "asylum seeker" migrants are a crime wave on both sides of the Atlantic
Published: Thursday, April 18th, 2024 @ 8:10 am
By: John Steed
|
 |
UNC board committee votes unanimously to end DEI in UNC system
Published: Thursday, April 18th, 2024 @ 7:54 am
By: John Steed
|
 |
this is the propagandist mindset of MSM today
Published: Wednesday, April 17th, 2024 @ 3:04 pm
By: John Steed
|
 |
Police in the nation’s capital are not stopping illegal aliens who are driving around without license plates, according to a new report.
Published: Wednesday, April 17th, 2024 @ 8:59 am
By: Daily Wire
|
 |
same insanity that created Covid
Published: Wednesday, April 17th, 2024 @ 8:58 am
By: John Steed
|
 |
Davidaon County student suspended for using correct legal term for those in country illegally
Published: Wednesday, April 17th, 2024 @ 7:23 am
By: John Steed
|
 |
Lawmakers and privacy experts on both sides of the political spectrum are sounding the alarm on a provision in a spy powers reform bill that one senator described as one of the “most terrifying expansions of government surveillance” in history
|
 |
given to illegals in Mexico before they even get to US: NGOs connected to Mayorkas
Published: Tuesday, April 16th, 2024 @ 11:36 am
By: John Steed
|
 |
committee gets enough valid signatures to force vote on removing Oakland, CA's Soros DA
Published: Tuesday, April 16th, 2024 @ 10:32 am
By: John Steed
|
 |
other pro-terrorist protests in Chicago shout "Death to America" in Farsi
Published: Monday, April 15th, 2024 @ 9:13 pm
By: John Steed
|
 |
Weighing both sides
|
Home
Contact
About
Service Rates
Privacy Policy
Follow on Facebook
Subscribe to Newsletters
Rss Feed
Keywords
Eastern NC Now & ENC NOW © Copyright 1998-2024 All Rights Reserved.
