U-Haul Builds Bullet Train From California To Texas | Eastern North Carolina Now | When U-Haul announced an investment in a massive project in California, the state leadership's panic over continued population loss subsided.

Coronavirus Disease 2019 (COVID-19)
    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    LOS ANGELES, CA     When U-Haul announced an investment in a massive project in California, the state leadership's panic over continued population loss subsided. The relief was short-lived, however, as it turned out U-Haul's big project was just building a bullet train to accommodate the moving needs of everyone fleeing California for Texas.

    "We were initially ecstatic when we saw the U-Haul corporation begin construction on this bullet train in our city - until we saw it was pointed East, towards Texas, rather than North towards Sacramento." Los Angeles Mayor Eric Garcetti broke the bad news to California Governor Gavin Newsom, say sources familiar with the situation, and apologized for his premature call to the Governor bragging that he had finally attracted people to his crime-ridden city in the expensive state.

    California has lost tens of thousands of companies in the last few decades due to overregulation and crippling taxes, so the announcement of U-Haul's investment was welcome news for leaders in the state. It has since become clear that U-Haul was just helping more people and businesses leave the state more efficiently, to reduce the burden on UHaul's truck fleet, which has been buckling under the strain of all the Californian refugees.

    Some citizens of the state have reported seeing more people around, asking why this was the case given the 135,000 net population loss in recent years. When they realized it was more vagrants and homeless, including formerly middle-class residents who had become homeless due to the state's high taxes, they also loaded up into the U-Haul bullet train to seek a new life in the Lone Star State.

    At publishing time, Governor Newsom had hardened his heart and loaded up his chariots to chase the fleeing Californian refugees to bring them back to wage slavery in California, but the Grand Canyon closed over his troops after the newly built U-Haul train had exited the Canyon to safety.

poll#164
It has been far too many years since the Woke theology interlaced its canons within the fabric of the Indoctrination Realm, so it is nigh time to ask: Does this Representative Republic continue, as a functioning society of a self-governed people, by contending with the unusual, self absorbed dictates of the Woke, and their vast array of Victimhood scenarios?
  Yes, the Religion of Woke must continue; there are so many groups of underprivileged, underserved, a direct result of unrelenting Inequity; they deserve everything.
  No; the Woke fools must be toppled from their self-anointed pedestal; a functioning society of a good Constitutional people cannot withstand this level of "existential" favoritism as it exists now.
  I just observe; with this thoughtful observation: What will happen "when the Vikings are breeching our walls;" how do the Woke react?
308 total vote(s)     What's your Opinion?

Go Back


Leave a Guest Comment

Your Name or Alias
Your Email Address ( your email address will not be published)
Enter Your Comment ( no code or urls allowed, text only please )




Arizona Election Officials Confirm Ballots Are Being Counted By George R.R. Martin Babylon Bee, Editorials, Op-Ed & Politics Fetterman Realizes American Dream Of Living With Parents Til You're 50 And Then Getting A Government Job


HbAD0

Latest Op-Ed & Politics

According to reports from across the country, the number of individuals in the country who are libertarian and libertarian-curious is declining. Experts attribute this decline to the rise of "drag queen story hour."
Pfizer is planning to quadruple the price of its COVID vaccine as the federal government’s program to purchase the doses comes to a close.
Today the North Carolina Department of Commerce released September county-level unemployment data for the state, revealing a decrease in unemployment rates for 99 of North Carolina’s 100 counties. Only Warren County saw an increase in its unemployment rate.
The number of active duty military suicides decreased last year, according to a Department of Defense (DOD) report issued Thursday.
According to sources, a kindly middle-aged father began bullying his family during a casual game of Mario Kart 8 Deluxe this week. Police were called to the scene after a neighbor became distressed over the sound of wailing and gnashing of teeth coming from the family's home.
TikTok’s parent company in China reportedly planned to use the platform to track the location of specific American citizens.

HbAD1

As of Halloween morning, 1,160,747 ballots have been accepted in the N.C. 2022 midterms, and Democrats are seeing a 3.54% reduction in their usual early-voting advantage.
A fellow “briefcase girl” from the show “Deal or No Deal” suggested that Meghan Markle lied when she claimed that the show provided “stations” where various “briefcase girls” could have their bras stuffed.
Billionaire Elon Musk will reportedly gut Twitter with massive cuts when he takes over, getting rid of the overwhelming majority of the company.
Your family may say they want you over for Thanksgiving because they love you, but it's obviously a trap. They're going to ambush you with alternative facts that make Biden look bad.
Former President Donald Trump said he did not “see any reason” to return to Twitter shortly before new CEO Elon Musk reinstated his account on the social media platform on Saturday.
Former Republican Speaker of the House Paul Ryan called himself a “never-again-Trumper” and blamed former President Donald Trump for the GOP’s lackluster performance in the midterm elections.
Florida Governor Ron DeSantis (R) laid out the roadmap this weekend for Republicans to dominate politically in the coming years following Republicans’ blowout wins earlier this month in the midterm elections.
This week, a listing appeared on the classified advertising website Craigslist offering to sell a "lightly used" social network for "$5 OBO." The listing included a picture of Twitter's HQ in San Francisco.
Leftists raged Saturday evening after Twitter CEO Elon Musk reinstated former President Donald Trump’s Twitter account despite Trump repeatedly stating that he would not use the platform again.

HbAD2

 
Back to Top