‘California Is The State Of Freedom,’ Says Man Who Locked Everyone In Their Homes For 2 Years | Eastern North Carolina Now

In an inspiring speech intended to boost the pride of the state's remaining residents, Governor Gavin Newsom declared California to be "the state of freedom,"

ENCNow
    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    SACRAMENTO, CA     In an inspiring speech intended to boost the pride of the state's remaining residents, Governor Gavin Newsom declared California to be "the state of freedom," despite the fact that he locked down businesses, churches, skate parks, paddleboarders, and pretty much everything else while locking everyone in their homes for 2 years.

    "There is no state in the nation, indeed no place on the face of the earth, where you can enjoy as much personal freedom as you can right here in the Golden State," Newsom said in the speech. "With the exception of going to the gym, eating at a restaurant, getting your hair cut, or even having the right to leave your own home, California is synonymous with liberty! 12-year-olds can get gender surgery here!"

    Critics were quick to point to Newsom's track record of oppressive measures that exceeded those put in place by most other states throughout the country. "Freedom? Freedom?! I don't think Newsom even knows what the word means!" said long-time California resident Gheorghe Rosca. "The guy violated nearly every Constitutional right we have for nearly two years. He wouldn't know freedom if it sat next to him at The French Laundry!"

    Rosca was then escorted away by California authorities for questioning.

    When asked for comment on the flaming ball of hypocrisy that was his speech, Newsom was undeterred. "California is the brightest shining example of freedom in the entire country," Newsom said defiantly. "And anyone who disagrees with me will pay dearly in a variety of painful ways."

    At publishing time, Newsom was reported to be considering a renewal of heavy lockdown policies while simultaneously making reservations for himself at a series of posh California restaurants.
Go Back


Leave a Guest Comment

Your Name or Alias
Your Email Address ( your email address will not be published)
Enter Your Comment ( no code or urls allowed, text only please )




Biden admin considers ban on gas stoves Babylon Bee, Editorials, Op-Ed & Politics Radical Conspiracy Theorist Says Most Mental Health Problems Can Be Solved With Exercise, Fresh Air, Spending Time With Family


HbAD0

Latest Op-Ed & Politics

illegal alien "asylum seeker" migrants are a crime wave on both sides of the Atlantic
Displacing Constitutional Law

HbAD1

As the first presidential debate between President Joe Biden and Donald Trump nears, the Biden campaign is ratcheting up its attacks on the presumptive Republican nominee’s 34 felony convictions.
If you want to show how NOT to build a school there is no better example than this new Eastern Elementary School being planned in secret.
Average increase in costs at the grocery store
Standards for DACA, championed by President Joe Biden, were set so low

HbAD2

A rule that compels speech and engages in such viewpoint discrimination is impermissible
Tucker Carlson, Fox News Channel’s biggest prime time star, has left the cable news giant.
Florida Governor Ron DeSantis made his first trip overseas since 2019 this week, meeting with Japanese Prime Minister Fumio Kishida in Tokyo on Monday to discuss economic matters as the 44-year-old gears up for a likely presidential campaign.
Judge has ruled that her case can proceed on charges of civil conspiracy and fraud
now Democrat candidate in Texas and faked hate creime against GOP opponent
President Joe Biden delivered remarks on Tuesday at gun control advocacy group Everytown’s annual conference, Gun Sense University — and as is often the case when Biden speaks about guns, critics were quick to point out a series of factual errors.

HbAD3

 
Back to Top