Riley Gaines Arrested For Making Trans Activists Assault Her | Eastern North Carolina Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    SAN FRANCISCO, CA     Former NCAA swimming champion and current women's rights activist Riley Gaines has been arrested and charged with forcing trans activists to physically assault her after giving a speech regarding protecting women's sports at San Francisco State University.

    "Miss Gaines has been taken into custody and booked," said University Police spokesperson Phil Shaw. "She has been charged with forcing supporters of the trans community to assault her. This is a serious crime and will be treated as such. Any victims of violent beatings by trans activists will face swift justice."

    Gaines has become an outspoken critic of biological males being allowed to compete against biological females in women's sports, leading to activists calling for her to be silenced. "Who is this woman who says women have rights?!" asked one angry activist. "Those words are literally violence and are forcing supporters of the trans community to physically beat her! How dare she commit such a horrible act and make someone punch her? It's disgusting!"

    University officials heralded the actions of the trans activists and the swift response by the campus police in dealing with Gaines's dangerous behavior. "We're so proud of our campus police for their bravery," said a university spokesperson, Evergreen Stardust (They/Them). "Not to mention the courageous actions of the brave people who assaulted Miss Gaines."

    At publishing time, though San Francisco prosecutors had charged Gaines with a felony and requested that she be held without bail until trial sources said a special allowance to institute the death penalty was also being considered.

It has been far too many years since the Woke theology interlaced its canons within the fabric of the Indoctrination Realm, so it is nigh time to ask: Does this Representative Republic continue, as a functioning society of a self-governed people, by contending with the unusual, self absorbed dictates of the Woke, and their vast array of Victimhood scenarios?
  Yes, the Religion of Woke must continue; there are so many groups of underprivileged, underserved, a direct result of unrelenting Inequity; they deserve everything.
  No; the Woke fools must be toppled from their self-anointed pedestal; a functioning society of a good Constitutional people cannot withstand this level of "existential" favoritism as it exists now.
  I just observe; with this thoughtful observation: What will happen "when the Vikings are breeching our walls;" how do the Woke react?
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