Gandalf The White Returns As Gandalf The Black Upon Hearing About $1 Million Reparations | Eastern NC Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    RIVENDELL     Gandalf the White has arrived with haste at the house of Elrond, suddenly referring to himself as Gandalf the Black. According to the iced-out wizard now wearing a black robe, word on the street is that the Elves are paying out $1 million in reparations, and he is here to claim his bag.

    "A wizard is never late, nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he means to get that bread, homie!" said Gandalf the Black walking over and leaning on his pimp cane to greet Master Elrond. "Now where's all that paper cheddar I've been hearing about, Big E?"

    According to sources, Elrond made an uncomfortable and confused expression moments before Gandalf pulled him in for a complicated handshake that they had never done before. "Gandalf, my friend," said Elrond. "You cannot pass as black. These reparations are not intended for you."

    "Do not take me for some conjurer of cheap tricks, playa!" replied Gandalf the Black. "I pity the fool who tries to pass! Now fly, fool, and get me my money."

    At publishing time, Gandalf had been asked to leave Rivendell after once again trying to prove his authenticity by speaking the Black Speech of Mordor.

poll#164

It has been far too many years since the Woke theology interlaced its canons within the fabric of the Indoctrination Realm, so it is nigh time to ask: Does this Representative Republic continue, as a functioning society of a self-governed people, by contending with the unusual, self absorbed dictates of the Woke, and their vast array of Victimhood scenarios?

  Yes, the Religion of Woke must continue; there are so many groups of underprivileged, underserved, a direct result of unrelenting Inequity; they deserve everything.

  No; the Woke fools must be toppled from their self-anointed pedestal; a functioning society of a good Constitutional people cannot withstand this level of "existential" favoritism as it exists now.

  I just observe; with this thoughtful observation: What will happen "when the Vikings are breeching our walls;" how do the Woke react?

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