Man Diligently Searches Scripture For An Impressive Verse To Share On Social Media | Eastern North Carolina Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    CHERRY HILL, NJ     Local man Fredrick Biel spent time studying the Bible Thursday in his continuing quest for an impressive verse to share on social media, witnesses say.

    "He's been at it for a few minutes," said longtime friend Norma Matthews. "Such devotion!"

    According to sources, Biel prides himself on regularly posting out-of-context Bible verses on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.

    "There's an art to it," Biel noted. "Sure, you can read a chapter a day or even spend hours studying a specific topic, but you're never going to get likes that way."

    Biel explained he spends most of his Bible reading time frantically flipping pages and skim-reading until he finds something good to post - typically a verse that pairs well with a picture of a tree or inspiring sunset. "I don't usually get likes for judgmental verses," he admitted.

    "Oooh, here's a good one!" Biel said abruptly. "It's got everything! Trees, water, an out-of-context promise of prosperity - you name it!"

    The devoted Bible student raced to his computer and quickly shared a passage to social media, praying the impending likes will represent souls saved.

    He will be like a tree firmly planted by streams of water,

    Which yields its fruit in its season

    And its leaf does not wither;

    And in whatever he does, he prospers.

    (Psalm 1:3)

    At publishing time, Fredrick Biel's post had received four likes on Facebook.