Colleges Announce They Will Offer Gender Studies Course Credits For Sitting Through 'Barbie' Movie | Eastern North Carolina Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    BERKELEY, CA     College students will have an exciting opportunity this fall, as several educational institutions have announced they will offer credit in gender studies courses to any students who are able to sit through the entirety of the new Barbie movie.

    "We decided sitting through the movie should earn them something," said University of California Chancellor Carol Christ. "Obtaining college credits should not come without a cost, and there's no greater cost in our estimation than watching the entire Barbie film."

    Experts say Barbie has managed an impressive feat by distilling an entire year of gender studies into one 2-hour movie by beating you mercilessly over the head with anti-patriarchy messaging for the entirety of its runtime. "Anyone who manages to sit through this thing has received the ultimate crash course in insufferable feminist scholarship," said Dr. Xindi Xantham (she/her), Professor of Insufferability at UC Berkeley. "The film is an absolute masterpiece."

    The release of the Barbie movie comes at a welcome time for incoming students. "I'll do my best to sit through it," said freshman Greg Tuter. "I'll take whatever credits I can get, even if it means watching this dumpster fire. At least it's got Margot Robbie in it...but I heard she's just 'mid' now, so I don't know."

    At publishing time, the first batch of students testing out the college's credit offer for watching the movie failed to complete the task, with all of them sprinting out of the theater screaming before the movie was over.

poll#164

It has been far too many years since the Woke theology interlaced its canons within the fabric of the Indoctrination Realm, so it is nigh time to ask: Does this Representative Republic continue, as a functioning society of a self-governed people, by contending with the unusual, self absorbed dictates of the Woke, and their vast array of Victimhood scenarios?

  Yes, the Religion of Woke must continue; there are so many groups of underprivileged, underserved, a direct result of unrelenting Inequity; they deserve everything.

  No; the Woke fools must be toppled from their self-anointed pedestal; a functioning society of a good Constitutional people cannot withstand this level of "existential" favoritism as it exists now.

  I just observe; with this thoughtful observation: What will happen "when the Vikings are breeching our walls;" how do the Woke react?

845 total vote(s)     What's your Opinion?