Broadsword calling Danny Boy: Happy Appy vs Miami (O) (+180); Texas Tech vs Cal Bears (+130); Westerby on Kiev zugzwang redux | Eastern North Carolina Now

I found a picture of you, oh-oh
Well, it hijacked my world at night
To a place in the past we've been cast out of, oh-oh
Now we're back in the fight

We're back on the train, yeah
Oh, back on the chain gang

Circumstance beyond our control, oh-oh
The phone, the TV and the news of the world
Got in the house like a pigeon from hell, oh-oh
Threw sand in our eyes and descended like flies

Put us back on the train, yeah
Oh, back on the chain gang

The powers that be
That force us to live like we do
Bring me to my knees
When I see what they've done to you
- Chrissie Hynde


Becton Commandos storm the beaches of Myrtle, 1980: Above.     Click image to enlarge.

    With the world's attention focused on Middle Eastern religious butchering, Russia prepares to deliver the coup de grace to the Bidens' primary dollar laundering Kiev facility with a shattering Winter offensive. The ill-fated Ukrainian Autumn counter-offensive was DOA when the madman Zelensky ignored the Pentagon's advice to concentrate his forces in one roll-of-the-dice bolt toward Crimea. Like Hitler, Zelensky divided his forces into three strikes -- with each one blunted by Russian fortified zones reminiscent of Kursk and the destruction of Army Group Centre back in '43 -- and now Ukraine is out.

    The level of corruption, theft and outright looting of the American taxpayer while some six million Ukrainians have become refugees has reached heights never seen before -- even surpassing the hundreds of billions in shrink-wrapped hundred dollar bills delivered to Baghdad and Kabul during the last looting. Kiev now gang-pressing sixty year old men off the streets to be sent for two weeks of training before facing the Russian artillery and missile meat grinder -- few of them come back home short of the body bag (when they can find the remaining parts).

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    Russia did not start the war despite what Western media wants you to believe. The Maidan coup and Ukrainian Army shelling of civilians in the Donbass began in 2014; unlike America under Biden, Putin defends his borders aggressively. Alas, Army (U.S.) defended their goal line in similar fashion and Navy came up a foot short on the game's final play as we sink to 13-7 and plus 16.65 units in this space.

    With Farnell back and forth Sicily Drop Zone ways this week, and Westerby on the King's shilling in Kiev, we seek to kill two birds with one stone. We realise the value in taking two money line underdog selections where a split brings home the juice -- and a sweep can take the portfolio to dizzying heights.

    We have gone this route twice so far with mixed results. Kurt took the collar going on the road with Tennessee and South Carolina in conference battles. Farnell delivered the biggest payoff of the campaign with the Desert Swarm when both Arizona and Arizona State delivered as conference home dogs. Now we ask our English cousin Westerby to provide a couple weekend live bowl dogs before knocking down his Sterling assignment -- we need winners, Man.

    "Kiev is messy now and even moving on the streets is dangerous without the proper papers; lose your pass and you might find yourself knees up on the front line wearing a Ukie uniform. The contrast is stark now compared to last year when extracting the ECU frat boy Clark from the Jewish cemetery in Uman. That the Ukrainian army is snookered is evident in every whispered conversation with local officials. Kiev is in zugzwang; it is their move and every move is a loser."

    "Hopefully the assignment goes well but some underdog plus payouts waiting in old Blighty would be nice just in case the extract goes hot. We like MIAMI (OHIO) (+180) against Happy Appy in the Avocado something Bowl for the dosh. We recall Farnell's harsh discourse of the Mountaineer form in the Wyoming write-up about how Happy Appy plays different off the mountain and the altitude advantage. Miami is a jammy MAC eleven which means they get no respect from the casual bowl season punter -- that is a mistake."

    "Linebacker Matt Salopek (MAC Defensive Player of the Year) eschewed the transfer portal and is good to go for the RedHawks. The Mountaineers lose team rushing leader Nate Noel to the portal among others. With no other discernible transfer issues we are faced with the MAC champ versus the Sun Belt runner-up. With Miami owning the run-stopping advantage versus a slight Happy Appy speed edge the question is: Can a one-dimensional (passing) offence carry the day behind QB Aguilar?"

    "Shut your mush -- no way. Check out how Happy Appy lost at Wyoming -- tells you everything you need to know on this one."

    "Having watched Cal a little this year they appear an average team in a strong conference but what really drives us to this game is the erratic nature of Texas Tech football; they are a Jekyll and Hyde Big 12 eleven that can never be trusted as a favourite away from home. Never."

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    "Both teams have been hit hard by the transfer portal with Cal losing their top tackler on defence and Tech losing a pair of strong wide receivers; this nuance will negate Cal's slight run-stopping edge -- maybe. Barring bad weather this game is tracking toward a high-scoring shootout and in such a scenario a flutter on the CAL (+130) ticket holds more value than taking the points. This game is a coin flip and we are catching a thirty percent premium for calling heads."

    "Knowing we only need a split to come out winners we will hammer these two on the money line and then parlay them with Farnell's top bowl play of ( REDACTED -- Embargoed ) in a couple weeks. We get just one of these front ends to deliver and we will be loaded for the close. We get both of them and this is the last time we have to see Kiev before the termination of hostilities, among other things."

    Westerby is a real card and reminds us the importance of building the bankroll with the epic Super Bowl safety play only two months out. Veteran readers understanding the form as most of the campaign winnings will go on "Will there be a Super Bowl safety: Yes (+1000)." Price might even be a little higher as it has been several years since a hit on that one. A double-digit unit play there means a triple-digit return from the window if it hits.

    Gotta risk it for the biscuit and ain't nobody getting any younger so our calls here are MIAMI (OHIO) (+180) and CAL BEARS (+130) for two units each needing only a split for the portfolio to grow. This is the last light weekend of the bowl season. Starting next week things begin to get very real.

MIAMI (O)    34  •  HAPPY APPY    29



CAL BEARS    44  •  TEXAS TECH    41



    History will judge America poorly for the overt Ukraine looting and hit job there; the entire society has been destroyed for globalist glory and money laundering. Throw in a few illegal Western bio-labs, user-friendly currency cleaning facilities, and efficient human trafficking structures and you see why maybe Zelensky doesn't need to see a lot of survivors -- just in case he makes it through the State Department rat line to Miami.

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    Westerby never going to be confused with Skorzeny; but he can do Fritz Joubert Duquesne like Bojangles does a Cheddar Bo Biscuit -- hot, cheesy and on time. Nobody better for this one, Sterling -- nobody.

    By the Super Bowl it's all over -- everybody's going to be laughing their Azov.
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