Broadsword calling Danny Boy: Farnell's BBQ Bowl call, Auburn vs Maryland (+ two and the hook); State College and UNC leans | Eastern North Carolina Now

**** Maryland QB Tagovailoa has opted out of Music City Bowl. Game is NO ACTION ****
The news had come out in the First World War
The bloody Red Baron was flying once more
The Allied command ignored all of its men
And called on Snoopy to do it again

Was the night before Christmas, 40 below
When Snoopy went up in search of his foe
He spied the Red Baron, fiercely they fought
With ice on his wings Snoopy knew he was caught

Christmas bells those Christmas bells
Ring out from the land
Asking peace of all the world
And good will to man

The Baron had Snoopy dead in his sights
He reached for the trigger to pull it up tight
Why he didn't shoot, well, we'll never know
Or was it the bells from the village below?

Christmas bells those Christmas bells
Ringing through the land
Bringing peace to all the world
And good will to man

The Baron made Snoopy fly to the Rhine
And forced him to land behind the enemy lines
Snoopy was certain that this was the end
When the Baron cried out, "Merry Christmas, mein friend!"

The Baron then offered a holiday toast
And Snoopy, our hero, saluted his host
And then with a roar they were both on their way
Each knowing they'd meet on some other day - George David Weiss


Becton Commandos storm the beaches of Myrtle, 1980: Above.     Click image to enlarge.
    The tragic demise of three Israeli hostages at the hands of IDF gunmen speaks volumes to both the lethal nature of urban warfare / genocide and the foolishness of counting on government elements to save your life when taken hostage at gun point. The hostages did everything by the book; they removed their shirts (showing no IED / bomb threat), had their hands up, waving the white flag (international surrender signal) and were calling out in Hebrew (the local idiom of their executioners). Still they were gunned down without mercy.

    Good golly. After all that one might wonder if the IDF is killing anything that moves in Gaza.

    Of course they are; that is the nature of urban warfare whether this century or the sacking of Jerusalem back in the day. Tens of thousands of Iraqi civilians butchered by American military elements the turn of the century. Putin (as Prime Minister) directed similar killing fields in the Second Chechen War a few years earlier. Bottom line is that the urban warrior doesn't give a damn about policy -- only staying alive through the current conflict / shift.

    We can empathise with that philosophy as both Miami (O) and Cal shot down like dogs on a brutal Saturday that saw us fall to 13-9 and up 12.65 units in this space. We are beginning to realise the increased complexities of the portal / opt out dynamic impacting the handicapping nature of these bowl games; however the bottom line is we keep losing with bad teams. We don't want to take bad teams -- even when two bad teams play each other.

    In a season where the Bahamas Bowl is a famous toaster played in Charlotte and the Barbecue Bowl (Sam's birthday bash) is still celebrated in Sarajevo opposite the Turkish Quarter, we understand the craziness of the form. However the globalist-driven mental health crisis that has subjugated the West is not our concern as big pharma gotta big pharma and death squads gonna claim righteous authority (until meeting their maker) even as they squeeze the trigger. That's because we need winners, Man.

    Like a wrung out Man City gaffer we have to fill the pitch with what we can find. With Hughes in rehab again, Kurt hunkered down in Beirut and Westerby gone to ground in Kiev until the termination assignment complete, Pickens are a little Slim. We need a striker of the highest international calibre to find the back of the net for God, country and Third Platoon.

    Unhappily, Harry Kane advising us to sod off which leaves only Farnell on the list. Apparently his ENC haunts being battered by a wicked flu strain and December tropical storms generating internet outages. We don't know whether to laugh or cry, but -- ever the analog man in a digital world -- Farnell has made like a Chinese intel operative and sent his bowl game of the year pick via carrier pigeon.


    Being one to throw around beer tokens like they were manhole covers, we are not surprised his missive arrived not properly sealed -- moisture has lost some of his rambling to all eternity:

    "With the exception of Miss Tracy's meat loaf on Thursdays there is not much to get real excited about these days. However when we saw the Music City Bowl match up between Maryland and Auburn we started parlaying every strong-value prop we could find with it. We love MARYLAND (plus two and the hook) most some kind of bigly here."

    "Both teams have suffered from portal losses and opt outs, with Auburn still up in the air about some of the defensive backfield. Significant losses for each team include (lost to water damage -- invest a couple bob in some waterproofing, Old Man)."

    "This price is wrong but it has to be because the public sees Auburn as the team that was on the verge of beating Alabama before a miracle fourth down pass to the end zone corner late -- instead of the team that barely squeaked past Cal and lost at home to a New Mexico State eleven blown out this past weekend in a minor bowl. Auburn is a terrible team shaking things up in real time with heavy portal recruitment versus focus on this game."

    "We think the SEC is highly overrated this bowl season in terms of their mid-level teams and already have Iowa and Joe (Penn State) versus SEC squads. We have been surprised by the speed drop off of the mid-range SEC teams compared to the past and the Terps be most fleet of foot. This speed edge reminiscent in some ways to the classic advantage developed at Zama-Naraggara and the introduction of echelon tactics in battle where (several pages lost to water damage -- thankfully)."

    "In the quarterback match up, Maryland enjoys a significant edge with Tagovailoa versus Thorne for the Tigers. Tag is the Big 10 all time passing leader in completions and yardage. After transferring from Alabama and later rejecting a 1.5 million dollar offer / bribe to transfer from Maryland to an SEC school he has been quite clear how he feels about the SEC. This game is personal for him. As long as he is good to go Maryland will not lose this one."

    "First year Auburn head coach Hugh Freeze is focused on recruiting / buying transfer portal elements now and realises that such is much more important than winning a minor bowl game if he wants to stay on the Plains. He is the master of mismanaging the clock in crucial situations and is prone to losing control of himself on the sidelines in moments of crisis. At Maryland, fifth year head coach Mike Locksley doesn't get a lot of attention or fanfare in the pro-sports dominated DC market -- he just keeps getting better every year as he builds a strong program; he doesn't make mistakes."


    "Maryland gave Michigan their toughest battle of the year. They are physical, quick and well-coached. This game opened at the current price but has seen the money line drop from Terps (+120) to (+115) which is a good indicator. Most importantly Maryland enjoys a run-stopping advantage similar to Texas over Oklahoma State in the game a couple weeks ago -- and this time you are catching points instead of laying two touchdowns. If you only wager one game this bowl season make sure it is Maryland -- it will not be close."

    The rest of Farnell's babbling lost to water damage with the exception of taking UTAH (- six and the hook) versus Northwestern, a long passage in High German on the miracle of the Rentenmark in 1923 and brief looks at both the Carolina and State College bowl games.

    He seems to feel the Maye opt out makes the Mayo bowl untenable for UNC backers versus West Virginia -- if you have to take the Heels go for the money line as the value is not on the team but Mack Brown's ability to steal one in Charlotte which is one of his favourite game-stealing venues. In terms of State College versus K-State the transfer portal has taken the Wildcats QB situation into the future a little sooner than anticipated. State College (+3) marginally the side to take; the Wolfpack going to be stunned by the speed disparity K-State brings to the table -- especially when that punt gets blocked for six.

    With thoughts of the epic Super Bowl "Will there be a safety: Yes (+1000)" growing bigger in our minds each week we need to tend the garden like Chauncey Gardiner. We have close to eight units at risk already with IOWA (+ seven and the hook) and PENN STATE (-180) and want to be careful so our first call here is UTAH (- six and the hook) for one unit.

    However we also realise life is hard, the advantage is damn tough to acquire, and when you hold it you need to put your foot on the gas. Otherwise you're just marking time until the death squads -- kinetic or big pharma, it doesn't matter -- come a knockin' at your humble burgh. Our call here is MARYLAND (+ two and the hook) for six units and bleep Hugh Freeze and his dirty money crowd. The Terps are gonna kick him so hard he'll be wearing his ass for a hat.

UTAH    37  •  NORTHWESTERN    21

MARYLAND    51  •  WAR DAMN EAGLE    16

    There is plenty for peeps to worry about this holiday season but being completely honest, when isn't there? The soul-emptying madness of the AI-generated digital gulag expands each day and can no longer be controlled by the globalist Masters of the Universe. When you see the DC and State Capitol legislators start to bail out en masse you know that they understand what is coming.


    The only way to win their game is not to play their game. It's easier to do than you think. Start by remembering the reason for the season.

    Merry Christmas.