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Results found for "turtles"


Mysterious masked vigilantes who previously called the sewers of Manhattan their home have fled the city in protest because of new restrictions on pizza ovens mandated by the Department of Environmental Protection.
Published: Tuesday, August 15th, 2023 @ 1:45 am By: Babylon Bee
Mysterious masked vigilantes who previously called the sewers of Manhattan their home have fled the city in protest because of new restrictions on pizza ovens mandated by the Department of Environmental Protection.
 
Researchers from the University of Florida said a new accidental discovery could help solve criminal activity or find missing persons after learning investigators could collect human DNA samples from the air.
Published: Monday, May 29th, 2023 @ 10:07 am By: Daily Wire
Researchers from the University of Florida said a new accidental discovery could help solve criminal activity or find missing persons after learning investigators could collect human DNA samples from the air.
 
In a bizarre development, turtles around Ohio have reportedly been spotted hanging around pizza parlors and practicing a wide variety of martial arts.
Published: Monday, February 27th, 2023 @ 1:00 pm By: Babylon Bee
In a bizarre development, turtles around Ohio have reportedly been spotted hanging around pizza parlors and practicing a wide variety of martial arts.
 
School libraries are safe spaces for children to open their minds to the virtues of cross-dressing and Communism. But if you wrote a book about sea turtles and their wacky adventures you may find trouble getting your story approved by the librarian.
Published: Friday, December 16th, 2022 @ 2:48 am By: Babylon Bee
School libraries are safe spaces for children to open their minds to the virtues of cross-dressing and Communism. But if you wrote a book about sea turtles and their wacky adventures you may find trouble getting your story approved by the librarian.
 
It's a story that just keeps repeating itself, with some variations, such as the names changing but the basic proposition remains the same.
It's a story that just keeps repeating itself, with some variations, such as the names changing but the basic proposition remains the same.
 

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