I Just Became Rich in 93 Minutes And 1 Second (Originally Published on 1/13/11 and Modified 9/4/17) | Eastern NC Now

    It came to me in a flash (that's the 1 second referred to in the subject line above). I then spent 93 minutes calling the heads of the news departments at NBC, CBS, ABC, the AP, Fox, CNN, TNT, Reuters, MSNBC, CNBC and a couple of others. The brilliance of my proposal was seen immediately and was accepted by them as a real concrete way for each of them to save a lot of money.

    I proposed they pay me a minuscule remuneration in the form of 5% of all the money my brilliant idea would save them in the next 25 years. They accepted my payment plan as quickly as they had accepted my original money saving idea. That's it. I am rich!

    Did I forget to tell you exactly what was my Brilliant Money Making, Money Saving and Make Me Rich Idea? I apologize. Here it is in all its brilliant simplicity...

     I was watching the news broadcast on TV today about the floods in Australia.
     I said to myself, "Self, that looks like the pictures of the floods in Iowa last year".
     That's when it hit me.
     The news organizations spend millions of dollars every year sending cameramen all over the world to take pictures of one disaster after another.
     The pictures they send back all look the same as the pictures of the last disaster.
     What they needed to do is build up a video bank of all the various disasters that we see over and over each night on TV: Floods, Fires, Earthquakes, Tornadoes, Hurricanes, Rabbits Attacking Presidents, etc.
     Then when one of these bad things happen again they just go to their computers and pull out a stored video of that particular type of happening and send it out over the airways for all of America to be amazed at or saddened by.
     They have then saved the expense of salary for the travelers, meals for the travelers, airplane tickets for the travelers, new equipment having to be purchased, worn out equipment that needed to be replaced, shirts and baseball caps with logos on them and so on and so forth

    And what does little old me get for coming up with this idea? I get 5% of everything they save.

    Did I not tell you it was brilliantly simple?     --------------------------     I just got a phone call I got from a cameraman from NBC. He told me that he was going to sue me.

    At first, I assumed that he was suing me because he was losing his job. I was surprised when he told me that he was suing me for Nifty Idea Infringement.

    He explained he had been putting my brilliant idea into actual practice for 32 years and I had stolen it from him. My idea was his idea.

    During his 32 year career at NBC he said he had sent in On-The-Spot "Live" Disaster Film/Tapes/Videos from 4,286 Floods, Fires, Earthquakes, Tornadoes, Hurricanes, Rabbits Attacking Presidents, etc. and no one had ever taken note that the current disaster looked a lot like all prior disasters.

    The only one that never was repeated was that Rabbit Attacking that President.

    All this time he had never left Altoona, PA.

    I offered him 2% of my 5%. He accepted. Now we are both going to be rich.

    Would I kid u?
    Smartfella