Revealed: What Your Morning Beverage Says About Your Politics | Eastern NC Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    Did you know that your morning beverage of choice can predict your political leanings with 100% accuracy? Don't look it up-just trust us, it's a totally real thing.

    Here is what your preferred morning drink says about your politics:

    Black Coffee - You are a red-blooded, freedom lovin', conservative AMERICAN!

    Decaf with cream - LOL you liberal snowflake

    Metamucil - Hail to the Chief! You're the President of the United States!

    Kombucha - You're a Democratic Socialist hippie with diarrhea. Gross, dude.

    Rainwater collected with a tarp - Libertarian.

    Milk - You're either a serial killer or Mitt Romney.

    Lukewarm tap water - You're a centrist but probably call yourself "politically homeless"

    Gasoline - Anarchist

    The fresh salty sea air and a swig of brandy - Oh no! You're an 18th-century whaling vessel captain!

    Deionized Mineral Free Water - Far-right QAnon conspiracy theorist

    5 Diet Cokes - Orange authoritarian dictator

    Your own pee - Bear Grylls

    Liberal Tears - Ben Shapiro

    Tea - You are loyal to King George III and should be thrown into the harbor

    Gold River Trading Co. Tea - You believe in God, guns, freedom, and AMERICA!!!

    Skinny mocha dairy-free decaf no-whip latte - Nazi.