D.C. Politicians On Edge As CDC Announces Arrival Of Lizardpox | Eastern North Carolina Now | Politicians in Washington are growing increasingly nervous, as the CDC has announced they have discovered the first case of Lizardpox on American shores.

Coronavirus Disease 2019 (COVID-19)
    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    WASHINGTON, D.C.     Politicians in Washington are growing increasingly nervous, as the CDC has announced they have discovered the first case of Lizardpox on American shores.

    "Thisss issss just terrible," said House Speaker Nancy Pelosi while eyeing a housefly buzzing around Adam Schiff's head. "For the lizards, I mean. Terrible for the lizards. I definitely don't know any lizards personally but I hope they're ssssssafe."

    Pelosi then turned to snap at the fly only to discover Congressman Jerry Nadler was already munching on it.

    The CDC insists Lizardpox is no threat to humans, but they are recommending a complete lockdown of the nation's capital just to be safe. "Lizardpox is a sexually transmitted disease that spreads among lizards whenever they have orgies," said CDC Director Bob CDC. "...Not that there are any lizard orgies happening in Washington D.C., that's just silly."

    After inquiring of the CDC, Senator Mitch McConnell was relieved to be told the virus doesn't affect turtles.
Go Back

HbAD0

Latest Op-Ed & Politics

“Wiley Nickel and his soft on crime agenda are a nightmare pair. He is dangerous for North Carolinians.”
Bill Maher, host of HBO’s “Real Time with Bill Maher,” said late last week that the FBI’s raid on former President Donald Trump’s Mar-a-Lago home might have saved him from losing in a Republican presidential primary against Governor Ron DeSantis (R-FL).
California Democrat Governor Gavin Newsom claimed on Tuesday that he skipped out of a global climate conference in Scotland because his kids “had an intervention” for him where they pressed him not to miss Halloween.
Former federal prosecutor Andrew McCarthy told Daily Wire host Andrew Klavan Friday that he believes there are “seven chances in ten” the Department of Justice (DOJ) indicts former President Donald Trump on federal charges.
The Carolina Journal makes a wide sweeping evaluation of the news that most effects us here in North Carolina, and is distilled, here on BCN, for your clear understanding by the electronic means of video broadcast.
Critics blasted White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre after she claimed that the United States Supreme Court’s decision to overturn Roe v. Wade was an “unconstitutional action.”
Saule Omarova, Democrat President Joe Biden’s Marxist-friendly nominee to lead the Office of the Comptroller of the Currency, said earlier this year that she wants oil and gas companies to go bankrupt, which comes as Americans face surging gas prices.

HbAD1

New documents related to the FBI’s raid of former President Donald Trump’s Florida home do not explicitly mention nuclear weapons secrets, which The Washington Post reported agents were seeking in the Monday search.
RALEIGH: Today, Governor Roy Cooper ended the state’s COVID-19 State of Emergency. With vaccines, treatments, and other tools to combat COVID-19 widely available, and with new legislation now providing the requested flexibility to North Carolina Department of Health and Human Services (NCDHHS)
Former Secretary of State Mike Pompeo, who staunchly opposed Communist China during his tenure during the Trump administration, warned this week of entities controlled by the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) procuring American farmland with much of it located near U.S. military bases.
A new USA TODAY/Suffolk Poll found that a plurality of U.S. voters want Democrat President Joe Biden out of office in 2022 as his approval rating continues to fall to new lows.
The protocols require 'mind-blowing cognitive dissonance'
Inflation continues to ravage household budgets. According to the latest release from the Bureau of Labor Statistics, the Consumer Price Index rose 8.5% over the last year.
President Joe Biden signed an executive order Wednesday calling on Health and Human Services Secretary Xavier Becerra to aid women crossing state lines to obtain abortions.
Former President Donald Trump responded to the release of the FBI warrant that was used to search his residence in Florida at Mar-a-Lago this week by claiming that he had declassified all the information.

HbAD2

Recall due to addition of cleaning fluid
New satellite images released this week appear to show that communist China’s military has constructed a second mockup of a U.S. aircraft carrier in a remote Chinese desert.
U.S. Rep. Jackie Walorski (R-IN) was killed in a car accident Wednesday afternoon. She was 58 years old.
Federal law enforcement officials removed nearly a dozen sets of classified information this week from former President Donald Trump’s Florida residence at Mar-a-Lago, according to a new report.
Woke Duke Power wants expensive wind and solar

HbAD3

 
Back to Top