Breaking: Every Dad Who Received '#1 Dad' Mug To Face Off In Giant Deathmatch | Eastern NC Now

With over 30 million "#1 Dad" mugs given out this Father's Day, all dads who received this mug have been ordered to face off in a giant deathmatch to determine who the true "#1 Dad" is.

ENCNow
    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    WORLD     With over 30 million "#1 Dad" mugs given out this Father's Day, all dads who received this mug have been ordered to face off in a giant deathmatch to determine who the true "#1 Dad" is.

    "There can be only one," said Chad Smith, a local dad. "It's time for us dads to face each other on the field of glorious battle for ultimate dad supremacy. For too long, we have allowed millions of fakers to hold up their '#1 Dad' gear unopposed, regardless of their actual dad ability and ranking. Our families should have thought twice before unthinkingly bestowing this dubious honor on all of us. It's time we knew the truth."

    Initial reports indicate the world's dads will face each other at sunrise in the Giants Stadium and engage in furious combat until only one dad is left standing.

    Smith says he's confident he will be victorious when the battle is over. "While all you dads were playing video games and drinking beer, I studied the blade," he said.

    President Biden will reportedly be exempt from the showdown as Hunter skipped buying a "#1 Dad" mug in favor of another $3 million payment from China this year.
Go Back


Leave a Guest Comment

Your Name or Alias
Your Email Address ( your email address will not be published )
Enter Your Comment ( text only please )




Man On 8th Booster Still Chasing That High He Got With The First Shot Babylon Bee, Editorials, Op-Ed & Politics Beasley Caught Repeating Corporate PAC Money Lie


HbAD0

Latest Op-Ed & Politics

Sanctuary county for the unborn resolution to be presented by Stan Deatherage at tonight’s (Monday August 3) Beaufort County commissioner meeting.
Biden autopen pardon does not protect him against state prosecution

HbAD1

“Not getting that large sum of money ... was just the final death blow to the company.”
illegal alien "asylum seeker" migrants are a crime wave on both sides of the Atlantic

HbAD2

fortunately this travesty has not yet come to Beaufort County, but it has in Virginia
now Fauci should be indicted for his previous lies under oath to Congress
Queen Garris has made a post on the Beaufort County GOP site that you should read. It is disloyal to conservative candiates key in the following: https://www.Facebook.Com/beaufortcountygop
another reason we need the SAVE America Act that Democrat politicians fear
Throughout the evening, the fireworks and other program events competed with uncooperative weather.
spending spree came from deceptively named "Inflation Reduction Act"

HbAD3

 
 
Back to Top