Dad's Top 10 (And Totally Safe) Summer Activities For Kids | Eastern NC Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    Summers can be a great time for fathers to spend more time with their children. But what are you going to do with them? If you're not coming up with constant activities you'll be overwhelmed with complaints of boredom. DON'T LET THIS HAPPEN TO YOU!

    Here are some completely safe activities dads can plan for their children. Just don't tell their mother:

1. Hold a knife safety seminar: "Cut away from yourself. Do NOT practice knife throws on your brother."
2. Offer them $1 to run around the tree in the backyard till they get tired: It's important to ensure your kids stay fit. They'll love it!
3. Institute Cheez-Its-for-lunch Thursdays: Kids love Cheez-Its! Just put them in a bowl and you're done! Easy recipe!
4. Host a competitive survival competition in your own backyard: Let them see who can survive the longest locked outside the house. Anyone who calls mom is disqualified.
5. Play the quiet game: Always a classic.
6. Have them mow the lawn for 3 minutes until you decide to take over because they're not mowing in straight enough lines: A great way to keep them humble.
7. Watch The Lord of the Rings again: Extended editions only.
8. Show them how to hold a flashlight correctly: An essential life skill if you want to avoid watching Dad lose his ever-loving mind.
9. Build a flamethrower without mom finding out: Work in shifts so you always have a lookout.
10. Lose to Dad at Smash Bros.: Never let them win. It will only make them weak!