10 Great Ways For Teens To Rebel Against Their Progressive Parents | Eastern North Carolina Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    There comes a time in every child's life when they begin to assert their autonomy and freedom from the shackles of their upbringing: classic teenage rebellion! But how does one rebel against a set of radical progressive parents for whom morality is relative and degeneracy is celebrated? Not easy!

    Here are 10 ways you teens can rebel against your progressive parents:

  1. Be straight: Your progressive parents will be FURIOUS. Even more so if you're already white.
  2. Clean your room: A sure sign you've been radicalized by the Neo-Nazi Jordan Peterson.
  3. Hide your puberty blockers under your tongue and then spit them out when your parents aren't watching: They'll wonder whatever happened to the sweet trans kid they raised.
  4. Sneak out late at night to volunteer at the crisis pregnancy center: Make sure you put pillows under your sheets so they'll think you're still in bed while you're out saving babies.
  5. Start every sentence with "Tucker Carlson says...": A sure way to make lefty parents FLIP OUT!
  6. Start dating a polite, well-raised member of the opposite sex: Then get married early and raise a loving family. They'll be SO triggered!
  7. Never turn off the lights to prove you're not worried about climate change: "DAaaad! I'm not a climate denier! You're just brainwashed by the mainstream media!"
  8. Go to church: Just tell them you're going to a drag queen story hour and they'll never know.
  9. Be happy: Happy?? While the planet is dying and democracy is on the brink of collapse due to Donald Trump? Disgusting.
  10. Pray when they aren't looking: Just do it silently. God will still hear your earnest prayer for a hot conservative spouse to start a huge traditional family with!

Go Back


Leave a Guest Comment

Your Name or Alias
Your Email Address ( your email address will not be published)
Enter Your Comment ( no code or urls allowed, text only please )




Wife Calms Down After Wise Counsel From Husband Babylon Bee, Editorials, Op-Ed & Politics Teen Girl Who Got Gender Transition Surgery Because Of Demi Lovato Feeling Kinda Betrayed Right Now


HbAD0

Latest Op-Ed & Politics

amnesty would just encourage more illegal aliens to storm our borders
The Christmas candy was barely off the shelves when the Valentine’s candy appeared. Red and pink hearts with caramel and nut-filled chocolate goodness caught our eye. We are reminded of how we love love. Young love, especially.
far left sugar daddy has also funded anti-Israel groups and politicians in US
Be careful what you wish for, you may get it
America needs to wake up and get its priorities right
Former President Donald Trump suggested this week that if he becomes president again, he might allow Prince Harry to be deported.
It's a New Year, which means it's time to make resolutions — even for prominent evangelical leaders. The Babylon Bee asked the following well-known figures in the faith what they hope to accomplish in 2024:
Vice President Kamala Harris will visit a Minnesota Planned Parenthood clinic, reportedly the first time a president or vice president has visited an abortion facility.
An eight-mile stretch of the Blue Ridge Parkway near Asheville has been temporarily closed due to a string of “human and bear interactions,” the National Parks Service announced.

HbAD1

University of Wisconsin tried to punish conservatives for the fact that liberals regularly commit crimes to silence opposition
most voters think EU officials not doing a good job on illegal immigration
Come from behind by GOP candidate is a blueprint to 2024
Biden spending and energy policies to blame
Tuberculosis carried by illegal invaders has already infected Texas cattle
Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX) said this week that the only campaign promise President Joe Biden has delivered on as president is the complete dismantling of the U.S. southern border.
Hamas is reeling after losing two of their most cherished leaders on the same day: military commander Saleh al-Arouri, and Harvard President Claudine Gay.
President Joe Biden’s brother told the Internal Revenue Service that Hunter Biden told him he was in business with a “protege of President Xi,” referring to the leader of China, according to notes by an IRS investigator that were divulged during a congressional interview of Jim Biden.

HbAD2

Gov. Roy Cooper seeks a temporary restraining order to block a law changing the composition of the State Board of Elections.
X owner Elon Musk mocked a news segment from ABC News this week that promoted President Joe Biden’s talking points about the Democrat-led Senate’s failed border bill, which critics and many experts have said would make the situation on the border worse.
That’s the question Marguerite Roza of Georgetown University’s Edunomics Lab sought to answer in a recent webinar on the topic.
The University of Florida has fired all of its diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI) employees and shut down its DEI office.
Hot on the heels of its highly publicized television performance on New Year's Eve, the pop-punk band Green Day announced the release of an edgy new album titled Get the Vaccine, Climate Change Is Real, and Trump Is Bad.
Glenn Beck: 'When the United States government can come after individuals, that's when you know our republic is crumbling.'
Rep. Mark Green (R-TN) reportedly blasted Homeland Security Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas for “stonewalling” details about the illegal immigrant accused of murdering Laken Riley, a 22-year-old Georgia college student.
Financial asset manager BlackRock said in its annual report that environmental, social, and governance policies could hurt its bottom line after Republican state officials cut ties with the company over its ties to China and climate activism.

HbAD3

 
Back to Top