10 Other Things Martin Luther Nailed To That Church Door | Eastern NC Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    Martin Luther nailed his famous "Disputation on the Power and Efficacy of Indulgences" or "Ninety-Five Theses" to the door of Wittenberg Castle church in 1517, forcing the Catholic Church to disband forever. But did you know he nailed some other things to the door aside from the thesis?

    Here are ten (heretical?) items he nailed to the church doors:

1. A poster reading MAKE CHRISTIANITY GREAT AGAIN: Problematic!
2. A poster for tonight's gig for his band Marty Mart and the Indulgences: Live in Wittenberg! One night only!
3. Gospel tract disguised as a folded $20: Unfortunately, it was later pulled off the door and traded for an indulgence to Johann Tetzel, who later became a born-again believer as a result.
4. Dating profile that says he's looking for an attractive nun looking to leave the convent: Katharina von Bora answered the ad, intrigued by Luther's claim that he was "swole."
5. Flyer with tear-off phone numbers for his mule-washing business: He was very worried about lost income ahead of his inevitable ex-communication.
6. A "Don't Tread On My Solas" flag: Archeologists believe the original design has been lost to the ages.
7. A promo poster for his new Daily Wire show: Hammer Time with Martin Luther and Ben Shapiro.
8. A St. Pauli Girl neon beer sign: Classy!
9. His lesser-known thesis condemning female pastors: Some have speculated it was later discovered but then secretly destroyed by the ELCA.
10. His thumb: Ouch! If only his father taught him to use a hammer.