'Starbucks Made Me The Wrong Drink' And 10 Other Times Capitalism Failed | Eastern North Carolina Now | Hey capitalists! You still think your system is perfect? Well, think again! Capitalism is one of the worst things to happen to humanity and we'll show you why.

Coronavirus Disease 2019 (COVID-19)
    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    Hey capitalists! You still think your system is perfect? Well, think again! Capitalism is one of the worst things to happen to humanity and we'll show you why.

    Here are 10 miserable failures of capitalism:

  1. The hotel breakfast was out of waffle mix this morning: Say what you will about the gulags, they NEVER had this problem.
  2. Your Che Guevara t-shirt was delayed during shipment: Virtue signal delayed! Lame!
  3. Google Maps on your iPhone 13 Pro Max sent you to the wrong end of the park for the abortion protest: It was inconvenient.
  4. That time you stubbed your toe on your Roomba on the way to make your morning espresso: Every single day, capitalism is literally trying to kill you.
  5. There are just too many entertainment options and streaming services and it's stressing you out: Capitalism doesn't care about your mental health.
  6. When you go to the store to pick up some sugar-free almond milk for lactose intolerant vegans, and you can only find the kind with sugar: UGH!
  7. The time AOC's head got stuck in a fence: Without capitalism, the fence wouldn't exist - with Communism, it'd be an impenetrable block wall separating East and West Berlin that you couldn't get your head stuck in.
  8. Loot crates in video games: Evil. Pure evil.
  9. The McDonald's ice cream machine broke down and you can't get your soft serve: Why would capitalism allow this to happen?
  10. You don't want to work and you're broke: This leaves you with only as much wealth and luxury as a mid-tier noble from 200 years ago. Terrible!

Go Back


Leave a Guest Comment

Your Name or Alias
Your Email Address ( your email address will not be published)
Enter Your Comment ( no code or urls allowed, text only please )




Family Spends Enjoyable Video Call With Grandma's Ceiling Babylon Bee, Editorials, Op-Ed & Politics Biden To Forgive $10k In Student Loans -- In Unrelated News, Nation’s Colleges Raise Tuition By $10k


HbAD0

Latest Op-Ed & Politics

Netherlands is world's second largest exporter of food by value
A new poll shows that Republican voters put Florida Governor Ron DeSantis at the top of deep list of politicians they want to see influence the party’s direction.
Davis Patterson, a bystander during a shooting that left a dozen dead, has been arrested for misgendering the shooter, Blake Jacobson, who is non-binary.
Twitter CEO Elon Musk announced a blanket amnesty for Twitter users permanently suspended from the platform.
With rising interest rates, experts expect the U.K. to remain in a recession into 2024
CNN host Alisyn Camerota and a guest on the network struggled with the gender non-conforming identity of the Colorado “Club Q” shooting suspect.
U.S. State Department officials defended themselves Sunday after awarding Ecuador a grant of over $20,000 for a cultural center to host drag shows for LGBTQ communities in the South American country.
The N.C. Home Builders Association is sharing its concerns about a recent court ruling against an Ashe County asphalt plant.
says schools are for education, not indoctrination

HbAD1

Former Trump administration economic adviser Larry Kudlow blasted President Joe Biden, accusing him of lying about the state of the economy.
President Joe Biden announced his intention to push for new gun control legislation in the lame-duck session of Congress.
Wondering why people actually still vote for Democrats? Believe it or not, there are still Democrat voters out there and we've compiled their top reasons for doing so!
Two NBA players were ejected from a game over the weekend after they engaged in a fight that ended up in the stands.
When I was a tenth grade student, I had the good fortune to have an English teacher named MS. Comer.
While Arizona’s handling of the midterm election has been the focus of media outlets and pundits for some time, California still has more than 250,000 uncounted ballots across the state.
At least two counties in Arizona have confirmed that their certification of the 2022 election will be delayed as the state’s attorney general’s office wrote a letter claiming there’s evidence of “statutory violations” that occurred in Maricopa County on Election Day.
In a shocking statement to police, Paul Pelosi claimed that he was assaulted by a man who threw hammers at him while shouting, "THIS IS MAGA COUNTRY!"

HbAD2

New Hampshire Republican Governor Chris Sununu traded barbs with NBC News’s Chuck Todd over what voters should prioritize this election cycle.
The Biden administration began notifying Americans who applied for student loan forgiveness on Saturday that their requests had been greenlit, even as the controversial policy continues to move through the federal court system.
Thirteen billion people have already died horrible deaths mere hours after former President Donald Trump was reinstated to Twitter.
Even as health officials warn of a coming winter spike in COVID cases and the federal government urges millions of Americans to get a third booster, worry over the virus has dropped to just 28%, according to a new poll.
While speaking at a public symposium on behalf of The Association of Donut Lovers, Georgia Governor Stacey Abrams claimed obesity was just numbers manufactured by her bathroom scale.
Conservative commentators like Meghan McCain, Clay Travis, and others dragged CBS News for taking a “victory lap” on the authenticity of Hunter Biden’s laptop years after most outlets had already confirmed it was real.
Sheetz offering lower prices on unleaded 88 gas until November 28 as a benefit to those in need

HbAD3

 
Back to Top