New Dad Recovering After Spending Night On Uncomfortable Hospital Bench With Limited Snacks | Eastern North Carolina Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    AKRON, OH     New dad Lowell Cherry said that he is recovering well after a trying ordeal in the delivery room for the birth of his fifth child. Cherry says he had to spend all night on an uncomfortable bench-couch with no snacks while his wife was in labor.

    "It was truly horrifying for me," Cherry said about his experience during the birth of his fifth child. "There was this one spring that really hurt my neck. And the vending machine was on the fritz, so I could only grab a few snacks. I can see why they say birth is so traumatic for new dads."

    Cherry also complained that his wife's constant screaming during her 17 hours of labor kept him awake most of the night. "I was just tossing and turning, unable to sleep at all," he said. "I finally had to get the nurse to move me to a private room."

    Friends of Cherry have set up a GoFundMe campaign to help him recover from his traumatic experience. Donations have been pouring in from concerned fathers around the country. Cherry says he'll probably use the funds to purchase some new golf clubs, as his game will undoubtedly suffer with another newborn around the house.

    At publishing time, sources had reported that Cherry's wife Leslie and new child Clark Ellis were also doing fine, probably.