9 Innovative Ways Martha's Vineyard Is Handling Its Border Crisis | Eastern North Carolina Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    The people of Martha's Vineyard are facing a border crisis, with immigrants being shipped in from Florida by the planeload. But the fine people of the wealthy community have come up with some unique and innovative ways of handling the crisis. Here are the 9 steps they are taking to solve the issue:

1. Building a wall - A big, beautiful wall.
2. Deporting people who are there illegally - They've already been shipped out by bus. Smart!
3. Employing mounted border patrol to whip migrants away - It's not humane, but it is effective.
4. Firing cans of tear gas - This was Obama's idea.
5. Pulling down their "Immigrants are welcome here" signs and replacing with ones that say "Go away or we will taunt you a second time." - Just to avoid any confusion!
6. Putting the migrants to work on the hedges and baseboards - If you can't deport 'em, employ 'em!
7. Building cages for the migrant kids - Gotta separate them from their parents for processing, of course.
8. Declaring a border crisis and calling in the military - It's time to get tough!
9. Reminding people that there are legal paths to citizenship and that having a strong immigration policy is not the same thing as hating other cultures - A unique take no one has ever thought of before.

    Really smart ideas, wealthy liberal elites! We should think about using these tactics on our other border...

poll#162

In what may be the most divisive period in modern American History, even more divisive than the turbulent sixties due to today's lack of patriotism, consider what are the major catalysts causing so much of this calamity of conflict, and vote: What most instigates the division of America, on this day September 20, 2022?

  Racism within our society

  Sex realignment to the detriment of our society.

  Biden /Harris Wide Open Southern Border Policy for the Demographic Upheaval of OUR Constitutional Republic

  Rampant Crime in Democratic controlled cities, and the possible contagion elsewhere

  Covid Pandemic, and its mishandling at the political, and bureaucratic levels.

  The unresolved questions /allegation regarding the flawed 2020 General Election

  January 6th Riot or "Armed Insurrection", depending upon patriotic perspective

  Joe Biden as Divisive Leader; Ineffective and Corrupt Executive

  Failed Education Industry, from an overall perspective, regarding all levels of education.

  Propagandistic Media in complete conflict with the First Amendment's guarantee of Freedom of Speech, and the awesome responsibility of a Free Press..

  "Orangeman Bad!"

  Bureaucracy rushing to a behemoth size, its unjustified expense, and far too often overreach.

  The Weaponized Deep State for political purposes

  A secular ambivalence to all that is real.

  Record number of overdose deaths from opioids and now Fentanyl

  Biden Administration's disastrous Foreign Policy

  Bidenflation /supply chain failure inevitably evolving into stagflation and recession.

  "Ultra MAGA Extremists" freely speaking louder AND LOUDER!

927 total vote(s)     What's your Opinion?

poll#154

Inarguably, the policies of the Democrats in congress and Joe Biden as the Executive is plunging the United States into a recession, if we are not already there; a recession that was completely avoidable. Will abrupt changes in policies occur in time?

  Yes, the Democrats have a bold plan, yet to be revealed, to save us.

  No, there will have to be a complete undoing of the damage done by these Democrats.

  I can't do simple math, so how am I to understand the concept of basic economics.

1,216 total vote(s)     What's your Opinion?