9 Reasons Not To Worry About The Tanking Economy | Eastern NC Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    The economy is in the toilet! What will you do? Relax! This is nothing to worry about. We're all just transitioning to a brighter future together!

    Here are 9 reasons not to worry about the tanking economy:

1. Biden and Kamala have totally got this: Never has there ever been a more brilliant pair of politicians than Joe Biden and Kamala Harris. They have something up their sleeve to save us all! ...Right?
2. $4 gas won't be a problem once you've been forced to buy a $100,000 electric car: The Great Green Transition is underway!
3. Money isn't real anyway: Relaaaaxxxx!
4. You're probably fat and could use a few weeks without food: The economy is doing you a favor, fattie!
5. You can sleep easy at night knowing Ukraine just got another $12B in weapons: You don't want Putin to murder democracy, do you?
6. It's worth it if the tanking economy saves just one climate: Open your heart to rescuing a climate today.
7. The Middle Ages weren't that bad: They owned nothing. And they were happy. For their entire 20-year lives.
8. Finally, you can get the last laugh on those jerks who invested in the stock market while you were loading up on Pogs: And if you're interested in buying some Pogs, meet us behind the 7-Eleven on South Avenue in Hermosa Beach.
9. God owns everything and has promised to supply your every need: He promises to take care of those who seek him. We like the sound of that.