Russian Spy Awarded Presidential Medal Of Freedom For Being First Openly Transgender Traitor To Country | Eastern North Carolina Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    WASHINGTON, D.C.     The Army's first transgender officer Major Anna Gabrielian has been charged with conspiring to give secret information to Russia to aid them in their attack on Ukraine. As a result, Biden awarded Gabrielian with the Presidential Medal of Freedom for being the first-ever transgender traitor to America.

    "We've had guys like Aaron Burr and Benedict Arnold - he's a great guy, by the way, I know his daughter - but we've never had a traitor who identified as transgender. This is historic!" said Biden to those in attendance at the White House ceremony. "It's not every day you get sold out to the Russians by a dude in a dress! How about that!"

    Army officials admit they should have seen this coming when Gabrielian announced he felt like there were several more genders nested inside his body, one after the other, and that his pronouns were now "она/ей". "He was right under our noses this whole time and we didn't see it," said one intelligence officer. "It was a pretty ballsy move to do what he did."

    Major Gabrielian will be sent to the women's prison at GITMO to serve his sentence, breaking even more glass ceilings as the first transgender waterboarding victim.

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Inarguably, the policies of the Democrats in congress and Joe Biden as the Executive is plunging the United States into a recession, if we are not already there; a recession that was completely avoidable. Will abrupt changes in policies occur in time?
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