David Pretty Confident He Just Wrote A Banger After Finishing Psalm 23 | Eastern North Carolina Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    BETHLEHEM     Sources close to multi-platinum award-winning artist King David have confirmed that he just finished another Psalm, and he's convinced this one is a straight-up banger.

    "Woah, this song totally slaps," David reportedly said as he wrote the final verse.

    "I call it 'Psalm 23'," said the ruddy musician to journalists. "I feel like I was in a bit of a creative slump ever since 'Psalm 10', but I gotta tell ya, I'm feeling really good about this one. It's absolute fire."

    Many were concerned there would never be another smash hit from the prolific songwriter as he struggled to find success after his chart-topping debut, "Psalm 1." Others criticized David's brief crossover into heavy metal and extreme lyrics in recent psalms, such as "Your hand will find out all your enemies who hate you and make them as a blazing oven," and "Let him rain coals on the wicked, fire and sulfur and scorching wind." The shepherd king is assuring audiences this time is different.

    "I felt a sudden wave of peace and inspiration after punching a bear in the face to save a lamb, and I wrote the whole song down in, like, 5 minutes," said David. "Y'all are going to love this one, I guarantee it."

    At publishing time, King David's estate had sued every funeral home for billions in back royalties owed.