David Pretty Confident He Just Wrote A Banger After Finishing Psalm 23 | Eastern North Carolina Now | Sources close to multi-platinum award-winning artist King David have confirmed that he just finished another Psalm, and he's convinced this one is a straight-up banger.

Coronavirus Disease 2019 (COVID-19)
    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    BETHLEHEM     Sources close to multi-platinum award-winning artist King David have confirmed that he just finished another Psalm, and he's convinced this one is a straight-up banger.

    "Woah, this song totally slaps," David reportedly said as he wrote the final verse.

    "I call it 'Psalm 23'," said the ruddy musician to journalists. "I feel like I was in a bit of a creative slump ever since 'Psalm 10', but I gotta tell ya, I'm feeling really good about this one. It's absolute fire."

    Many were concerned there would never be another smash hit from the prolific songwriter as he struggled to find success after his chart-topping debut, "Psalm 1." Others criticized David's brief crossover into heavy metal and extreme lyrics in recent psalms, such as "Your hand will find out all your enemies who hate you and make them as a blazing oven," and "Let him rain coals on the wicked, fire and sulfur and scorching wind." The shepherd king is assuring audiences this time is different.

    "I felt a sudden wave of peace and inspiration after punching a bear in the face to save a lamb, and I wrote the whole song down in, like, 5 minutes," said David. "Y'all are going to love this one, I guarantee it."

    At publishing time, King David's estate had sued every funeral home for billions in back royalties owed.
Go Back

Leave a Guest Comment

Your Name or Alias
Your Email Address ( your email address will not be published)
Enter Your Comment ( no code or urls allowed, text only please )

10 Scariest Flicks To Watch With Your Family This Halloween Babylon Bee, Editorials, Op-Ed & Politics Stacey Abrams Explains You Can Get Your Bills Down To $0 By Killing Yourself


Latest Op-Ed & Politics

One third of farms will have to drastically reduce fertilizer use, cutting yields
follows West Virginia and Louisiana in moving funds from Blackrock over ESG
Congress is set to come together and vote on the Respect For Giant Golden Statue Of Nebuchadnezzar Act, or the RFGGSON Act for short.
The U.S. announced on Friday that it is banning the sale and import of certain technology from several Chinese companies after national security concerns.
The North Carolina Medium- and Heavy-Duty Electric Vehicle State Policy Bootcamp and Showcase emphasizes the importance of electric vehicles across the state
Americans currently recovering from the most expensive turkey comas in recent memory must now prepare for complications in Christmas tree markets that will lead to higher prices.
Witnesses say StackedPAC gave items in exchange for voting. The group is not legally registered to operate in North Carolina.


Unvaccinated New York City workers scored a victory Monday after a New York Supreme Court judge ruled the city’s vaccine mandate for all city employees is arbitrary, capricious, and unconstitutional.
What a year 2022 has been! We have so much to be thankful for at the Bee. The world may be a roiling cauldron of hellish insanity sliding into oblivion, but it's a funny roiling cauldron of hellish insanity sliding into oblivion!
GOP Rep. Liz Cheney has drawn the ire of House January 6 Committee staffers over her influence on the final committee report expected out next month.
Amou Haji, an Iranian hermit dubbed the “World’s Dirtiest Man,” has died at the age of 94, according to state media reports.
Carolina Journal has learned that on Oct. 18, a shooting took place at the residence of GOP congressional candidate Pat Harrigan,
Sarasota and Brevard Counties in FL part ways with sup'ts who backed mask mandates
''China" Mitch wants more spending; conservatives oppose
Harvey Weinstein’s defense lawyers told the jury that their client behaved in a manner that was accepted at the time before the MeToo movement changed everything.


Scores of colleagues and staff who worked for Florida Democrat gubernatorial candidate Charlie Crist in the past issued an open letter to the people of Florida in which they endorsed Florida GOP Governor Ron DeSantis.
On Wednesday, former Vince President Mike Pence made the case for electing Rep. Ted Budd for U.S. Senate in a final-week push before the 2022 midterm elections.
allows 401(k) managers to invest in low performing ESG funds
Home prices are falling at a record pace, according to data from S&P Global released Tuesday.
Chaos including the desecration of the Bible erupted on the University of Wisconsin campus Monday, when protesters tried to shut down a coming speech from Daily Wire host and author Matt Walsh.
How nearly all polls show massive move towards Republican candidates for national and competitive races
The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) approved a $3.5 million drug treatment Tuesday, the most expensive drug in the world.
Florida Governor Ron DeSantis (R) slammed Rep. Charlie Crist (D-FL) during a gubernatorial debate Monday night in response to Crist’s attacks on DeSantis’ handling of Hurricane Ian.


Back to Top