Biden Says It May Take Days For Democrat Votes To Be Double-Counted | Eastern North Carolina Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    WASHINGTON, DC     As the date of next week's midterm elections approaches, President Joe Biden used his Wednesday night address to warn everyone that the results may not immediately be known because it may take several days for enough Democrat votes to be harvested and double-counted.

    "Despite the fact that third-world countries around the globe are capable of tallying their votes on the same day as their elections, it's simply not realistic to expect that from the world's most technologically advanced nation," Biden shouted with an unnecessary amount of anger to the assembled crowd made up entirely of White House staffers and the media. "Folks, we've got to take our time, find out how far behind we are, and wait for the unmarked vans carrying bags full of ballots to arrive in the middle of the night. Then we gotta find out how many times we have to count each ballot. Tomato soup."

    As First Lady Jill Biden and Secret Service agents quickly grabbed the President and pulled him away from the podium, White House spokesperson Holly Caust provided the media with a backtracking statement. "What the President was actually trying to say is that we will make sure our democratic process plays out in its entirety without anyone's right to vote being suppressed. There's simply no time limit on counting votes, even if various state laws clearly state otherwise."

    At publishing time, Democrat operatives across the country were continuing to stock up on snacks and making sure the voting machines at polling stations were successfully connected to the internet in preparation for next week's marathon vote-manufacturing sessions.


poll#167

The Democrat leadership has made constant, profound and incredible pronouncements that one's supportive vote for Republicans is tantamount to surrendering Democracy forever. Understanding their sincere thinking in their extreme position: How will you still vote on this election day?

  Democrat; because the continuance of this Democracy from the existential threat of extreme Republicans is paramount.

  Republican; the process of having a choice is the democratic method within what so called "Democracy" does exists.

  For the best candidate; and to be clear: This Constitutional Republic /this Representative Republic is not a Democracy, and never has been.

371 total vote(s)     What's your Opinion?

poll#145

After one full year of the Biden /Harris Administration: Does Joe Biden have the intellectual capacity, and, or the energy to lead the United States of America through the mess that he predominately created ... in just one year?

  Yes

  No

  Unsure

1,222 total vote(s)     What's your Opinion?