Republicans And Democrats Agree To Not Claim Election Was Rigged If They Win | Eastern NC Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    WASHINGTON, D.C.     In a landmark bipartisan agreement, both Republican and Democrat leaders have agreed to accept the results of the 2022 election and not claim everything was rigged - as long as their side wins.

    "I am proud that we can come together around the shared principle that we should not undermine American faith in our elections unless we lose," said Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer. "If we can't agree to that, democracy is finished. It's also finished if we lose due to a rigged election. But we won't call it a 'rigged election.' Unless we lose. Then we will. Democracy!"

    Senator Mitch McConnell voiced his agreement from Juno Beach, Florida, where he was laying a batch of eggs in the sand.

    President Biden applauded the pact in a speech last night, where he promised the American people it would take weeks and weeks to count all the ballots until they could be sure nothing was rigged or anything like that. "We must guard against the 100 million MEGA-MAGA fascists who want to steal our elections by winning them," he said. "Bardle-wiggenflomp. Come here, little girl! Come on, man!" He then clambered up a nearby telephone pole as he forgot he was a human and not a raccoon.

    At publishing time, both parties agreed to not celebrate political violence unless it was "really, really necessary."

poll#164

It has been far too many years since the Woke theology interlaced its canons within the fabric of the Indoctrination Realm, so it is nigh time to ask: Does this Representative Republic continue, as a functioning society of a self-governed people, by contending with the unusual, self absorbed dictates of the Woke, and their vast array of Victimhood scenarios?

  Yes, the Religion of Woke must continue; there are so many groups of underprivileged, underserved, a direct result of unrelenting Inequity; they deserve everything.

  No; the Woke fools must be toppled from their self-anointed pedestal; a functioning society of a good Constitutional people cannot withstand this level of "existential" favoritism as it exists now.

  I just observe; with this thoughtful observation: What will happen "when the Vikings are breeching our walls;" how do the Woke react?

848 total vote(s)     What's your Opinion?

poll#154

Inarguably, the policies of the Democrats in congress and Joe Biden as the Executive is plunging the United States into a recession, if we are not already there; a recession that was completely avoidable. Will abrupt changes in policies occur in time?

  Yes, the Democrats have a bold plan, yet to be revealed, to save us.

  No, there will have to be a complete undoing of the damage done by these Democrats.

  I can't do simple math, so how am I to understand the concept of basic economics.

1,216 total vote(s)     What's your Opinion?