10 Ways To Cope When An Election Doesn't Go Your Way | Eastern NC Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    Wherever your political loyalties lie, you were probably disappointed in the result of the most recent election. After all, you weren't crowned king and placed in a position to impose your own personal desires on the whole of mankind. Bummer!

    Here are some tips to cope with a disappointing election:

1. If your name is Beto O'Rourke, stop running: Read the room, guy.
2. Ask your therapist to rock you gently to sleep while you suck your thumb: Like a boss.
3. Burn down an entire city block: Election rage falls under the first amendment. You can't be arrested!
4. Eat 5 whole cheesecakes: Food makes the pain go away.
5. Dance around an altar and cut yourself so that Baal will hear your cries: Seems about as effective as ranting about the election on TikTok.
6. Watch the Notebook: WHAT DO YOU WANT? You want Ryan Gosling. Just admit it.
7. Hold up a fake severed head of your political opponent and then take a picture of it: This won't backfire at all.
8. Claim you won anyways: Boom! Checkmate.
9. Storm something: Like a Capitol.
10. Move to Canada, but not really: Threatening to move will make people feel your pain.