War Solved: United States Puts Up Gun-Free Zone Sign In Ukraine | Eastern North Carolina Now | The United States has solved the crisis in Ukraine after Congress voted to install a "gun-free zone" sign in Ukraine. The sign is expected to put an end to the Russia-Ukraine crisis, which began in 2014 with fighting in isolated regions before escalating to a full-scale land invasion

Coronavirus Disease 2019 (COVID-19)
    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    KYIV, UKRAINE     The United States has solved the crisis in Ukraine after Congress voted to install a "gun-free zone" sign in Ukraine. The sign is expected to put an end to the Russia-Ukraine crisis, which began in 2014 with fighting in isolated regions before escalating to a full-scale land invasion of Ukraine in February 2022.

    "Welp, I guess it's over," said one Russian general in Crimea. "The sign is very clear, comrades. There's no way of getting around this. Time to go back home!"

    "This is a big win for peace," said Chris Murphy, the junior Democratic Party senator from Connecticut. "These signs will put a stop to all fighting in Ukraine and restore stability to the region, just like they do in downtown Chicago."

    Some in Congress feel like the sign is just a start. "The sign is fine. And I cosponsored it, by the way," said Congresswoman AOC. "But what about artillery and tanks? We need signs that say 'Artillery-And-Tank-Free Zone' as well. Also, the sign should have a pride flag on it for inclusivity."

    The 3-foot by 5-foot steel sign was built in Detroit, Michigan, and transported to Kiev, the capital of Ukraine, by a team of United States Navy SEALs. The team was fired upon by Russian fighters as the SEALs left after completing the mission.

    At publishing time, fighting resumed after a Ukrainian tank inadvertently shot a tank round through the word "free."
Go Back


Leave a Guest Comment

Your Name or Alias
Your Email Address ( your email address will not be published)
Enter Your Comment ( no code or urls allowed, text only please )




Katie Hobbs Projected To Win Arizona Governor’s Race With 108% Of Precincts Reporting Babylon Bee, Editorials, Op-Ed & Politics Trump To Unveil List Of Savage New Nicknames For Ron DeSantis


HbAD0

Latest Op-Ed & Politics

Vice President Kamala Harris is spearheading a White House initiative to electrify the nation’s school buses, the administration announced Wednesday.
A spokesman for Santa's Workshop today announced the organization's latest advance in their ongoing efforts to determine who's naughty and who's nice
politization of leadership is biggest public concern
Twitter CEO Elon Musk said Monday that he will soon be releasing files on how the social media platform has engaged in suppressing free speech.
In the age of wokeness, ideological (re)education trumps mission-preparedness.
A new book alleges that after Ted Kennedy left his car and his passenger, Mary Jo Kopechne, in a pond off of Chappaquiddick Island, where Kopechne drowned, he returned to the party they had attended and told his close friends he wanted to say Kopechne was driving the car.
Hawaii’s largest active volcano began erupting Sunday night, with lava flow warnings issued to the surrounding area.
Apple CEO Tim Cook confirmed this morning that he's prepared to remove the Twitter app from the App Store but that he's waiting for orders from CCP President Xi before he makes a move.
A wave of Twitter users began impersonating government officials and major corporations after Elon Musk introduced a new scheme for verifying users on the platform.

HbAD1

In a dramatic ruling issued just days before midterm elections, the North Carolina Supreme Court upheld a lower court’s ruling and ordered the transfer of millions of dollars to pay for a school improvement plan designed to ensure North Carolina’s school children receive a sound basic education
Chest reconstruction surgeries performed on minors across the United States increased by approximately 400% during a three-year span, according to a new report.
bill would subsidize MSM, leave out conservative media
Christine McVie, the English singer-songwriter who helped launch the rock band Fleetwood Mac into international fame, has died. She was 79.
Research suggests that certain octopuses deliberately throw objects like silt, sand, and shells at other octopuses.
Balenciaga is facing a wave of online criticism after a MyPillow pillow was spotted in the background of one of the company's photo shoots for its winter collection. The CEO of MyPillow Mike Lindell is known for his strong support of Donald Trump.
Charges against the CEO of an election technology company have been dismissed after Los Angeles County prosecutors found “potential bias” in an investigation.
Twitter CEO Musk promises, 'Twitter 2.0 will be far more effective, transparent and even-handed'

HbAD2

Actor Ralph Fiennes made it clear that he stood with “Harry Potter” creator J.K. Rowling, decrying the verbal abuse directed at her in recent months as “appalling” and “disgusting.”
Until the last weeks of the election, polls consistently showed Republican U.S. Rep. Ted Budd and Democrat former state Supreme Court Chief Justice Cheri Beasley in a dead heat for North Carolina’s open U.S. Senate seat
Twitter employees circulated a list of demands on Monday, calling on billionaire entrepreneur Elon Musk to address their concerns when he completes his purchase of the social media platform.
According to sources, thousands of right-wing, anti-science extremists have converged in Shanghai to protest Chinese President Xi's common sense COVID restrictions.
A video of a young Meta employee enjoying company perks and not appearing to do much work has gone viral and drawn online mockery just as company founder Mark Zuckerberg faces pressure from investors to cut headcount.
Not talking reindeer games here. Talking about the political gamesmanship already beginning in the congress.
"Rep. Flores’ Extreme MAGA values and their attacks on Latinos and our nation’s democracy on January 6 do not align with CHC values."
One third of farms will have to drastically reduce fertilizer use, cutting yields

HbAD3

 
Back to Top