Taliban Quits Twitter To Protest Return Of Trump | Eastern North Carolina Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    KANDAHAR, AFGHANISTAN     Individuals and organizations are quitting Twitter in droves to protest Elon Musk's "recklessly violent" decision to reinstate Donald Trump's Twitter account, chief among them the Taliban.

    The legitimate government's final tweet read, "So long, and thanks for all the American weapons!"

    "Long has Twitter served as a safe haven of free speech for North Korea, Iran, Al Qaeda, and ourselves," said Taliban Spokesman Badrash Onmyrhir, still tired from a long day of lashing young women for daring to remove their head scarves. "But with Trump's return to the platform, we no longer feel safe from his violent and hurtful tweets."

    North Korean Press Secretary, Hae Yu Suk applauded the Taliban's decision, saying: "We, The Democratic People's Republic of Korea have followed The Taliban's courageous gesture and have quit Twitter for fears that allowing a violent lunatic access to the free speech platform may lead to the deaths of millions."

    Al Qaeda is reportedly up in the air about quitting Twitter, stating legitimate fears that Trump's mean tweets could reign terror upon the world, while at the same time recognizing Twitter as a powerful tool for recruiting suicide bombers.

    At publishing time, the Taliban had already resumed using Twitter, stating in a tweet, "After pausing for much of the weekend to assess our concerns, The Taliban is resuming its activity on Twitter as we continue to monitor the situation."

poll#164
It has been far too many years since the Woke theology interlaced its canons within the fabric of the Indoctrination Realm, so it is nigh time to ask: Does this Representative Republic continue, as a functioning society of a self-governed people, by contending with the unusual, self absorbed dictates of the Woke, and their vast array of Victimhood scenarios?
  Yes, the Religion of Woke must continue; there are so many groups of underprivileged, underserved, a direct result of unrelenting Inequity; they deserve everything.
  No; the Woke fools must be toppled from their self-anointed pedestal; a functioning society of a good Constitutional people cannot withstand this level of "existential" favoritism as it exists now.
  I just observe; with this thoughtful observation: What will happen "when the Vikings are breeching our walls;" how do the Woke react?
483 total vote(s)     What's your Opinion?

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