Starbucks Begins Promotion Offering Free Coffee If You Correctly Guess Your Barista's Gender | Eastern NC Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    SEATTLE, WA     In a move that seems destined to produce both increased interest and controversy, coffee giant Starbucks has announced the start of a new promotion in which customers will receive a free shot of espresso if they are able to correctly guess their barista's gender when placing their order.

    "On the surface, it may sound rather straightforward," said Starbucks marketing representative Randi Savage in a press release unveiling the promotion. "However, with there now being so many genders - a nearly unlimited number, in fact - we feel confident that we won't have to worry about giving away too much free coffee."

    Customers reached for comment outside a local Starbucks gave a mixed reaction to the promotion. "I guess it's a way to potentially score an extra shot of espresso for free," said Carson Moon. "And with inflation, that's like saving thirty bucks!"

    Others expressed trepidation regarding the promotion, however. "Don't you know what happens these days if you don't guess someone's gender correctly?" asked loyal Starbucks customer Tate Kelly. "It's like a one-in-a-million chance of guessing it right! I'm not sure I want to risk getting canceled just to have a chance at a free espresso shot."

    At publishing time, Starbucks continued to work on the fine print of the promotion's legal documentation, expected to also include a severe penalty of being banned from all Starbucks locations for life if the customer guesses incorrectly and misgenders the barista.

poll#164

It has been far too many years since the Woke theology interlaced its canons within the fabric of the Indoctrination Realm, so it is nigh time to ask: Does this Representative Republic continue, as a functioning society of a self-governed people, by contending with the unusual, self absorbed dictates of the Woke, and their vast array of Victimhood scenarios?

  Yes, the Religion of Woke must continue; there are so many groups of underprivileged, underserved, a direct result of unrelenting Inequity; they deserve everything.

  No; the Woke fools must be toppled from their self-anointed pedestal; a functioning society of a good Constitutional people cannot withstand this level of "existential" favoritism as it exists now.

  I just observe; with this thoughtful observation: What will happen "when the Vikings are breeching our walls;" how do the Woke react?

848 total vote(s)     What's your Opinion?