Local Man Takes 15th Annual ‘Before’ Photo

Latest Polls (view all)

Under the cover of Covid, and now in the shadow of the infamous Election Irregularities of that fated 2020 presidential election, with current emerging alleged election fraud in Nevada and Pennsylvania inconveniently slipping into the public discourse, there is proved a colluded ongoing Election Interference in the nomination of the Republican candidate, the likes of which has never occurred in our Constitutional Republic's history, albeit, the question remains: Do you support the plain-sight Election Interference of the Democratic Socialist party, employing its minions in their Propagandistic Media, and their Two Tiered Justice System?

98.85% No, I do not support Election Interference; I am a patriot unto our Constitution.

1.15% Yes, I do support Election Interference; the alternative, Donald Trump, to this mentally diminished president is far worse.

0% "What, me worry" if elections are rigged?

Click Here to Vote
87 Vote(s)

View all Polls

Local Man Takes 15th Annual ‘Before’ Photo

Published: Sunday, January 8th, 2023 @ 4:06 am
By: Babylon Bee ( More Entries )

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    MEEKER, CO     The new year started off optimistically for local resolution enthusiast, Carson Blenvy, who dove right into his resolve to lose 30 pounds of fat by taking a before photo to help document his future progress toward a sleek, muscular body.

    Annual before photos: 15

    Annual after photos: 0

    "This year is different from the previous 15 years," said Blenvy while shopping for brand new workout clothes to match his renewed enthusiasm to burn calories and build muscle. "I have ordered a new water bottle and special protein powder that will actually triple my resting metabolism. I can already feel the fat melting off of me, this is amazing!"

    Blenvy was later seen on Instagram asking friends and family to publicly urge him to stick to his goal no matter what curveballs life threw at him, and posted his before photo next to older posts of his 14 before photos from years past.

    Hours later, life threw a wicked curveball at Carson Blenvy as he was walking to the running shoe store and was kind of hungry and the Corndoggo's food truck was just right there.

    At publishing time, Blenvy had indeed taken another photo weeks later, but of his unused Total Gym™ to sell on eBay.

Go Back