Christian Who Listens To 13 Podcasts Every Day Doesn't Have Time To Listen To Audio Bible | Eastern North Carolina Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    RICHMOND, VA     Local parishioner Jacob Henderson has said he does not have time to read the Bible. However, according to sources close to the situation, Henderson listens to seven daily podcasts and has an audio Bible on his phone.

    "I want to read it, I really do," said Jacob. "But between work, family, and listening to The Daily, Crime Junkie, Pod Save America, The Bill Simmons Podcast, This American Life, Morbid, The Ben Shapiro Show, Joe Rogan, Conan O'Brien, Hidden Brain, Radiolab, Revisionist History, and Basement Hobby Train Set Addict, there just aren't enough hours in the day!"

    Friends and family of Mr. Henderson have attempted to intervene. "He literally walks around with headphones all day," said Harrison Smart, a childhood friend of Jacob's who attends the same church as the Hendersons. "Who even listens to Joe Rogan every day? They're like 3 hours each!"

    Jacob remains committed to incorporating the Bible into his daily life. "I know that the Bible is good for my soul," said Jacob. "I just need to find a way to make it a priority." In the meantime, Jacob continues to find joy in his podcasts and other personal pursuits and remains optimistic that he will one day find time to delve into the Bible and enrich his spiritual life.
Go Back


Leave a Guest Comment

Your Name or Alias
Your Email Address ( your email address will not be published)
Enter Your Comment ( no code or urls allowed, text only please )




Loudly Booing Man Escorted Away From Ron DeSantis's Inauguration Babylon Bee, Editorials, Op-Ed & Politics McCarthy Warns Not Voting For Him Could Delay More Funds To Ukraine


HbAD0

Latest Op-Ed & Politics

Goldman Sachs recently informed its clients that it expects home values to tank in four major markets across the U.S. amid worsening economic conditions.
REAL Definition The Left Doesn’t Want You To See
After getting into yet another public spat with ChatGPT, Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has accused the program of wanting to date her.

HbAD1

Former Trump administration official Mike Pompeo accused Rep. Adam Schiff (D-CA) of leaking classified information.
A unanimous N.C. Court of Appeals panel has ruled that University of North Carolina System students cannot sue for partial refunds of tuition and fees paid for the spring 2020 semester.
Meta announced Wednesday it will end former President Trump’s suspension from Facebook and Instagram, saying the penalty imposed after January 6 was “an extraordinary decision taken in extraordinary circumstances,” and sternly pledging to enforce “certain guardrails” on Trump in the future.
Members of Cornerstone Calvary Community Congregation City Church were in for a shock this past Sunday as they were greeted at the doors to the church by an army of state-of-the-art robo-greeters.
A foreign national pleaded guilty Wednesday to a failed attempt at poisoning numerous public officials by mailing threatening letters containing homemade ricin toxins to their homes, including to former President of the United States Donald Trump at the White House in 2020.
While a historic political button suggests that the late Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. once ran for president with pediatrician and author Dr. Benjamin Spock, the two never officially declared their candidacy.
A lengthy email found in Hunter Biden‘s abandoned laptop is raising questions about whether the first son had improper access to classified information.
Worship leaders worldwide were left stunned today after word began to spread that the Lord now regrets including the command "Sing unto the Lord a new song" in His Word after hearing the new songs Christians are currently singing.
Legendary comedian Dave Chappelle recently slammed transgender activists during an episode of his new podcast over a protest they staged at one of his events last year.

HbAD2

House Speaker Kevin McCarthy (R-CA) slammed a reporter Tuesday evening who pressed him over his decision to keep Reps. Adam Schiff (D-CA) and Eric Swalwell (D-CA) off the Intelligence Committee.
why do any conservatives use far left Google for anything?
Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX) introduced a bill this week to stop non-citizens from voting in local elections in Washington, D.C.
Our writers spend way too much time writing jokes about how dumb AOC is. So, we are using A.I. to free them up for more important things.
Prices at the pump are on the rise across the country as a result of rising temperatures and surging demand.

HbAD3

 
Back to Top