NCGA Boobs looking at Busting Broads for Baring Breasts | Eastern North Carolina Now

    Publisher's note: Brant Clifton sheds his normal prudish nature in his "bare knuckles" Conservative online publication known as The Daily Haymaker.

    There's just something about Asheville and boobs. The other day, we get the big boob himself from DC in town. Now, we've got the NC General Assembly focusing like a laser beam on legislation aimed at banning the display of the female breast. Really. Seriously.

    Let's see. We've got an ungodly mess in the state bureaucracy. A multi-billion dollar debt to the federal government. And don't forget the record unemployment. And the honorables on Jones Street have BOOBS on the agenda.

    State Rep. Tim Moffitt (R-Asheville) is sponsoring a bill making it a felony to expose female nipples in publicly visible venues. Apparently, the bill originated from frustrations by local leaders about regular annual protest rallies featuring topless female participants.

    Apparently, there are laws on the books at the state level banning the public display of male and female private parts -- but NOT the female nipple. Localities HAVE passed ordinances regarding public decency and so forth. Moffitt's bill could send women who bare their nipples in public to JAIL. Yep. JAIL.

    I have a friend who works in an area state prison facility. He has expressed his frustration to me about the growing number of men imprisoned for falling behind on child support. Legislators LOVE passing laws to make certain special interests happy by throwing people- who those special interests don't like -- in jail.

    These deadbeat dads get tossed in the clink -- where they are STILL making no money toward paying off their debt. They get out of jail, and have even worse problems finding work, thanks to their recently completed prison term.

    Legislators get to look tough on deadbeat dads. But the whole process does very little to solve the original problem of non-payment of court-ordered sums. We're filling up prisons with guys who NEED to be on the outside making money to pay off their obligations. Meanwhile, the state has to find alternatives for more serious convicts in order to avoid prison overcrowding issues.

    I talked this over with my trusted team of policy advisers. The consensus of the team appears to be that the General Assembly -- instead of banning boobs -- should treat the whole issue like an economic development matter. When is the last time you heard about layoffs or financial issues at -- ahem -- gentlemen's clubs? Think about all of the tourism you'll draw if word gets out that you don't mind bare female boobs in public. Bare boobs can bring big bucks. Playboy, anyone?

    The Moffitt legislation needs to go away.