15 Subtle Hints The News Anchor Is Lying | Eastern NC Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    In a civilized society, people rely on the news media to keep them informed. It's how we learn about things like crime, local interest stories, or what we should wear for the day. But what if your favorite news anchor has been lying to you? Not good!

    Prepare yourself. Watch for these signs that your news anchor is lying:

    They . . .

    . . . are talking.

    . . . gesticulate wildly while talking.

    . . . are an anchor and they are giving the news.

    . . . look very concerned.

    . . . won a Pulitzer Prize.

    . . . say things like "I am not lying right now."

    . . . blink.

    . . . are wearing a Ukraine lapel pin.

    . . . are wearing a Russian lapel pin.

    . . . are wearing an American lapel pin.

    . . . are caught on a hot mic saying, "That last story was a total lie."

    . . . have a common first name like Chris, Brian, Don, or Joe.

    . . . have a last name like Cuomo, Stelter, Lemon, or Scarborough.

    . . . begin their broadcast with, "In today's news..."

    . . . are using their lungs and vocal cords to make noises resembling language.

    That ought to cover it. Stay vigilant out there, friends. Try avoiding fake news by getting all your information from Trump's Truth Social feed. You can count on it being true because it has "truth" in its name!